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-----Original Message-----
From:Witch
Sent: Friday, February 16, 2007 1:04 PM
To: Dorothy
RE: Hello!
Hello Dorothy,
Thank you for the email. I am sorry we missed the opportunity for aformal introduction when you came to urgent care with Wizard. Thank you forsending the email below in response to my email to Wizard and the offering of an apology.
I agree that we have never had words, but do believe there is air to clear and that you and I have been doing that through Wizard. I have not been voicing my concerns about you in quite a while. I have really tried to put the past behind me and move on. I am glad you want to do that also. I am a person...believe or not who doesn't like conflict and is hurt pretty easily (which is why sometimes I protect myself with anger). I guess that is why the fact that you would date a married man left me with a sour taste in my mouth. I am a person who is strong in my beliefs and I have always felt that you (Wizard) had enough love and respect for me at a point in our lives to make promises to me in front of God, our family and friends...that when the love is gone the respect should still be there and a relationship should officially end beforeyou begin something new. So, when I learned of your relationship and got to the bottom of all the mistruths and intentional misleading that was happening I was hurt, angry and questioning not only the person Wizard had become, but the person you were. I always said if it was March 18th and you met and fell in love I would be so fine with it...but the whole dating while we were officially married just sat wrong with me. I have always wanted the best for Wizard and mean that. I love him for being the father of my children, but am not IN love with him...so I am very happy for him that he found you. I think he is very lucky to have someone in his life that makes him happy and you do that. I have moved on and have let go of all the lies that were told about you and your relationship that happened that made me angry at Wizard and you. I just wanted honesty...no games, no lies...just honest communication. I think we are getting closer to that...aside from the incident a few weeks ago.
You mention your son in your email below...I am aware of your situation and all I can say is it is not my place to judge your situation. I as aparent can't imagine what you most go through in your situation. I trust and need to trust that you will continue to consider the best interest of my children before the ease of the relationship...and also your son although much older I appreciate the judgment you have shown.
I believe that you and Wizard never meant to hurt me by starting yourrelationship and lying about it while we were married. Reality is though it hurt...but I don't want to continue to hold a grudge. You seem to be a genuine person in your care for Wizard and your interest in our children. I explained why I felt that way above, so I think enough said on the subject.
My children will never be forced to choose between Wizard and me. That would never happen. My children are my greatest gift...I would never do anything to hurt them intentionally or make them feel as if they had to choose. I have never uttered a poor word about Wizard to them and would never say anything in detail about you to them either. I even sent you a cookie from the blue jackets game...it's a start right?
I meant what I said I want you to be our partner, but honestly I don't want you to try and be their Mom and I know from Wizard you won't and aren't trying to do that. I think Partner is a perfect word...it is parent spelled differently...I don't know what that means really and how it will play out but it's how I feel. I am sure all of our relationships will be defined as we continue our journey together.
I understand how you feel and hope for the same happiness for you. I have seen positive changes in Wizard and appreciate your influence. I look forward to getting to know you better and having you as a partner in our parenting decisions and my children's lives.
I look forward to seeing you tomorrow at the game.
Witch
-----Original Message-----
From: Dorothy
Sent: Thursday, February 15, 2007 2:34 PM
To: Witch
Subject: RE: Hello!
Hi Witch,
I know we haven't been formally introduced but I wanted to 'respond' to your email below because I feel much the same way you do on many levels. Even though you and I have never had 'words' but we both know that we've never been very positive toward each other and I would like that to end, to let the past be the past as you said below. The important people here are the children both yours and mine. I have a very unique situation with my son not everyone knows or understands that situation or that I always put his best interest before my own as I will do and have done for your children.
I appreciate the apology that you have given Wizard and I and would like to offer one of my own for the pain that our relationship has caused you; believe or not that wasn't and isn't our intent. A life filled with laughter, partnership, love and happiness is what we both wish for you and the person that you chose to be a part of your life, the children and ourselves. I know that's probably very weird sounding coming from your ex-husband's girlfriend but it is genuine. I know that you and I will never be 'friends' but like you said below I really hope that wecan be 'partners' in the future; I personally don't ever want your children to feel like they have to chose between you and I or Wizard and whomever you live your life with; they don't have too, we will each bring something different to the table that will enrich their lives in away that we never thought possible. I really appreciate what you said below and have taken it to heart.
Dorothy
Friday, February 16, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Valentine's Day
Last night we did have a great time with the kids; I loved every second of playing when them and helping them write out their valentine's for their party on Friday. Munchkin sat on my lap most of the time and wrote his own valentine, LOL It was so freaking cute he and I were having a jibberish conversation; and we were laughing and playing all of us and that's what I need to focus on.
When it came to the seeing them play softball in the basement I shut down, i'm not sure why but I did, i felt myself do it immediately and now that I look at it I could've handled it better but the sense that I got from Wizard was that he wanted me to be over joyed with what was going on and honestly at that moment I couldn't be, the girls looked like they were having a blast and Wizard says all they wanted from me was a 'good job' or 'wow, you're really good' but I wasn't able to give that to them and partly because I felt pressured to give it to them, does that make sense?! So, in the end Lion ended up sensing that something was 'wrong' and that I was 'mad' at Wizard but I wasn't mad just upset and it had little to do with sports and everything to do with him still focusing on clothes and matching and public opinion.
Which tells me that I have some work to do inside and so does he; so when he called last night we talked about what happened in the basement and I feel better about that and feel like I can focus on the fun and the love of the game that the girls have because they REALLY do love playing that game; I could see it in their eyes last night. Scarecrow was very excited to be playing and hitting with the pitching machine and Lion is a determined girl and can really hit the ball!! Munchkin even tried to get in the game, LOL
What still was bothering me was the whole matching glove/hat and jeans thing and after he finished talking about the basement and how he felt I explained how he made me feel....when first thing he says to me when I get in the car is 'why didn't wear the hat that matches your gloves' and 'public appearance, couldn't you have worn jeans'; I cried when I asked him if he loved me for me and he wonders why I'm questioning his love because lately all he's focused on are the clothes, etc. He apologized and asked me to help him and guide him and so that's what I'm going to do and I'm hoping he'll do the same for me in regards to knowing I'm a great parent and step parent and knowing that the kids do enjoy what they're doing and just want someone to watch and encourage and for now I'm going to focus on the love we all had for one another and laughter that we had at that table and add TinMan to that mix and I think we'll make a beautiful family....
When it came to the seeing them play softball in the basement I shut down, i'm not sure why but I did, i felt myself do it immediately and now that I look at it I could've handled it better but the sense that I got from Wizard was that he wanted me to be over joyed with what was going on and honestly at that moment I couldn't be, the girls looked like they were having a blast and Wizard says all they wanted from me was a 'good job' or 'wow, you're really good' but I wasn't able to give that to them and partly because I felt pressured to give it to them, does that make sense?! So, in the end Lion ended up sensing that something was 'wrong' and that I was 'mad' at Wizard but I wasn't mad just upset and it had little to do with sports and everything to do with him still focusing on clothes and matching and public opinion.
Which tells me that I have some work to do inside and so does he; so when he called last night we talked about what happened in the basement and I feel better about that and feel like I can focus on the fun and the love of the game that the girls have because they REALLY do love playing that game; I could see it in their eyes last night. Scarecrow was very excited to be playing and hitting with the pitching machine and Lion is a determined girl and can really hit the ball!! Munchkin even tried to get in the game, LOL
What still was bothering me was the whole matching glove/hat and jeans thing and after he finished talking about the basement and how he felt I explained how he made me feel....when first thing he says to me when I get in the car is 'why didn't wear the hat that matches your gloves' and 'public appearance, couldn't you have worn jeans'; I cried when I asked him if he loved me for me and he wonders why I'm questioning his love because lately all he's focused on are the clothes, etc. He apologized and asked me to help him and guide him and so that's what I'm going to do and I'm hoping he'll do the same for me in regards to knowing I'm a great parent and step parent and knowing that the kids do enjoy what they're doing and just want someone to watch and encourage and for now I'm going to focus on the love we all had for one another and laughter that we had at that table and add TinMan to that mix and I think we'll make a beautiful family....
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