Witts End

I'm sort of at my wits end...AGAIN, I'm tired of TinMan always being the bad guy in Wizards's eyes....its getting to a point that I think Wizard is like the typical step father with all his glares and constant ridicule....but he doesn't ridicule the child...he knows I'd never put up with that, he
ridicules the child to me, he calls it venting. When he gets mad at TinMan for not trying in school he calls him lazy, when he gets mad because TinMan didn't follow through or pay attention he calls him lazy or says he just doesn't get it and he never will, he thinks that constant punishment is the way to go, I think that giving him something to aim for like a weekend at his grandma's is the way to go and let me tell you its already working, his planner looks awesome, he has things written in it like I requested, he's studying for a quiz right now and doesn't even realize he's studying. Wizard seems to believe that TinMan's room is the best place for him to study...no, its fucking loud and FREEZING cold...its colder than it needs to be because Wizard was too fucking cheap to dry wall the other cement walls in...but I digress.

I'm pretty damn bitter that I'm helping pay of 6 figures in debt that I had no hand in creating, Wizard's all pissed off because my debt is gone, yes its gone because of two of his bonuses but it still would've been gone in april without them so I just don't get it, we as families are becoming more and more segregated. I admit that at the beginning of the school year I thought Wizard was handling TinMan better than I but I feel that I'm the one to take over from here; and now all I hear from him is 'we'll see' and its like he wants the child to fail....which hurts me, he says he wants him to suceede so badly but I don't know, just a feeling and just the way he talks.....

There was an inicident with Witch ...well there was and wasn't...I guess she's holding Emily (thomas and friends train) over Munchkin's head to get him to use the potty, Glenda has a feeling that Munchkin is holding his poop until Witch gets home so that he can poop in the potty and get emily...how fucking sick is this woman?! On another note she wants to take him to see the real
Thomas in May...funny thing is that's what I wanted to do, I really wanted to share that experience with him and the rest of the kids ....Wizard said, I don't know what to tell you, we don't have the money and we have a softball tournament. I told him to do what he wanted (its our week when she wants to take him) and that what he and Witch did with their children was none of my business, that i had no idea why he called to ask me what was going on, he had the calendar too and could've checked AND that he knew it would upset me and he had already made up his mind so why fucking call? I told him that we never do anythign fun with the kids and I'm not talking about spending money, I'm just talking about doing something fun, period...well that
doesn't happen in this house, if we're not on a field we're not doing anything....total BS and I'm completely over it.

Then there's the fact that he acts like he's 17, like he doesn't have a clue how to be a man and I'm beyond tired of that shit. Even after reading my chat with Cougar about him being childish and that i felt like he wanted someone to take care of him more than he wanted a parnter ....he was doing really well being the same guy I dated for almost 2 years and then like a switch he's back to this immature 17 year old and it totally repulses me, I mean I want a man, not a boy....how do you say that to somone? It has nothing to do with physical appearance he's still as amazingly gorgeous as ever physically but its like he wants me to mother him in one way and then be
his lover in another and I just can't do that....being his mother is such a turn off and then I have to deal with the whining and the funky ass voices he uses ugh...not during sex or anything like that but just throughout the course of a day and he didn't do that before...its got to change.