I really, really wanted to send this to Witch yesterday but I 'journaled' it out and let it go, which I'm super proud of, the drama of the day was that Wizard told her that he and I wouldn't be going to the birthday party she's having for Munchkin on 8/4 (his bday is 7/29, our week) and she threw a fit saying that it was my fault and he again was putting me before the kids and
that I needed to 'let it go'. There's other background needed to 'get' the email but I don't feel like typing it all out, LOL

I have to stick up for myself and the family that Wizard and I are trying to build. You're upset that Wizard isn't going to be at your party for Munchkin and while I understand wanting a father to be with his son on his birthday, I do not understand why you're so angry that he (Wizard) won't be there for the party you're having with YOUR friends and family and why you aren't thankful that he is spending part or all of Munchkin's actual birthday with him. I personally wouldn't be going even if Wizard were going and no, I'm not going to 'get over it'. I don't and won't put myself in a position that makes me uncomfortable for the sake of painting the picture perfect family....I could careless what people think. You constantly blame me for Wizards's decisions, I do not make his decisions for him, he makes them of his own free will as I'm sure you
know.

You don't like me, I get that but let it go as you said you have, I've tried 'playing nice', instead of 'being over it' you say things like 'you're putting her in front of your kids' (which you're WRONG about and if you'd look outside yourself for a minute you might see that) or 'you won't be
going to that game now, will you' (another selfish statement, and truthfully you're not hurting us, we just won't go, not a big deal) and my favorite 'girls your dad said you can't go to Cedar Point'; even though its you're doing, the best part is you don't care that you're painting an 'ugly'
picture of their father, you just care that you're pushing his buttons, and putting your anger in front of your kids....you want to be mean and selfish so why should we be nice and let you take them on OUR DAY....the ONLY reason we/he would let you take them to Cedar Point is because the KIDS HAPPINESS COMES FIRST...but you already knew that and are counting on that....aren't you...

Lets be real here, we're adults so lets behave like adults and COMPROMISE. If we can't compromise and co-exist positively then how can we expect our children to co-exist with people they don't like or learn to respect each other/others and compromise? Our actions are teaching them how to behave, our actions are molding who they will become. I for one want TinMan to be a better person than I am....I want more for him than I do myself, I'm sure you can relate....think about that when you're angry and you're spouting things off in front of the kids about their father, the man they love and admire, the man that is their protector and provider; you're mad at him take it out him but don't use the children to do it because that IS putting yourself before your children; Wizard doesn't do that to you or about you, he and I both know its in their best interest to see you in the best light, you're their mother, their security blanket, the one they need and trust.

You consistently believe that we (Wizard and I) are out to 'get' you or not include you in the parenting of your children and that is not true, I think you and Wizard are the most important people in your children's lives and when you TWO can get over your differences and stop trying to have the 'upper hand' with each other you'll be better parents. BOTH of you. The childcare
issue is one of the more recent issues I can think of, I'm not trying to decide anything for your kids, I will assist in the decision as my child will be present and I care about your children but the final say will come from you and Wizard since your kids will need more supervision than mine; if you want a specific type of babysitter/nanny then make a list of the type of person and qualifications you want and share it with us but don't accuse us of trying to do something without you, its getting old.

I will again say that if you have something to say about me, my life or my son to TALK TO ME not Wizard, you know he's going to tell me anyway. I'm tired of the she said BS, another thing that's getting old. You believe that I was talking about you this weekend at the game....when in reality I was pointing out Munchkin cheering....I'm tired of the anger....its OVER let it go,
move on, be happy.... that's all we're trying to do....and in fact despite all the BS that goes on we are happy, nothing you can do or say is going to change that.....

Weekend

This weekend was super busy jam packed full of fun, laughter and love!!! Last week was a pretty stressful week for me. All analyzing, adjusting, thinking and freaking out I did paid off in some way...journaling it out definitely helped and I talked to Wizard over the weekend about how I've been feeling and as usual he 'surprised' me by being very receptive :) I guess thats what good relationships are made of....communication and lots of it! He was very understanding regarding all the change and the feelings I've been having about it, we talked about me looking at his blackberry and while it didn't go over well he didn't freak out, he just said he had nothing to hide and I'm welcome to look anytime BUT he was hurt that I felt the need to look and that moving forward with a date, etc was something that we needed to think about because obviously I don't trust him....valid, very valid. I do trust him like I said before but geesh, I just didn't like the chatting going on that's all.

However, I read over my post from the other day about feeling alienated (sp) from SIL and Witch and I don't feel that way about Witch so much as I do SIL and I'm not sure why.....I felt that way on Thursday but I don't feel that way now, go figure! I did talk to him about the email to SIL and he said that he wanted to know about the gift and he also wanted to check on her and see how she was because she had seemed very down the last couple of times they talked.

Part of me says whatever and the other part of me says what is there to really care about?! Nothing, if I look at it rationally I don't care so I'm letting that go and if I do feel alienated again it will be brought up. Friday was a lot of fun, Wizard took a 1/2 day off to take Scarecrow to the movies, Lion went to the movies with a friend and Munchkin stayed home with the nanny...I
worked, LOL When I got home everything was done and we had a nice relaxing evening.

I met the friends at Bravo! and had dinner and then we went to see the band at Flanagan's and we had a total blast!!! It was some much needed girl time for me. I got home later than I watned but I wasn't stressed about it like I have been in the past so I was happy about that :) The kids
just hung out with Wizard and got ready for their games on Saturday. Saturday started at 7am....after going to bed about 2:30am...nice! Wizard and I got up and started getting ready.. Scarecrow had practice at 8-9 and Lion had a 9:45am game so she and Wizard were gone at 8am, I took Scarecrow to practice came home got Munchkin ready, had breakfast with him and then got ready myself. I picked Scarecrow up from practice brought her home to change and then we headed to the field to watch Lion's game. It was a good game they lost but the game was good,
it's interesting to sit on the sidelines and watch a team totally defeat themselves because that's what they did. After the first game Munchkin and I headed back home to go to a neighbor's daughter's birthday party which was a lot of fun for both of us. Everything was so cute and girly, the food was good and the people were really nice, so we had fun. After the party I laid Munchkin down for a nap and he slept for 2.5 hours....the amazing part is that the Kidz n Kamp fundraiser was going on in our backyard (our house backs up to the common area) and there was band playing and people being loud the WHOLE time and he slept right through it!

Wizard and the girls along with a few softball friends got home about 8 (after their 6:30pm game) and we hung out, chatted with neighbors, the kids ran around and had fun, we had friends come
over and hang out...it was just a lot of fun!!! They ended up raising $19,541 for KNK so that was AWESOME!!! We got to bed about midnight...wooo hoo

Sunday started much later than Saturday...we got to sleep in until 9am, LOL I remember when 9am was early for me....whew! Lion only had one game on Sunday so we were gone at noon and got home about 3:30pm and the rest of the afternoon we spent playing with the girls while Munchkin napped...it was a blast, we laughed, and joked it was just good family fun. at about 5:30pm we had the girls pack their stuff for their moms and Wizard took them home...that part
totally sucks! But, next week is vacation so we'll have a blast in Niagara and Montreal!!!

TinMan got home from Hilton Head late Saturday night so he'll be home Wed....for GOOD...I'm so happy!!!

This week we will be finishing TinMan's room, only have to paint the trim, touch up the helmet stripe and put the OSU logos on the walls, two walls are scarlet and two walls are gray it looks amazing!!! The carpet gets installed on Thursday and we'll be done :) For TinMan we have football camp in the evenings next week with lifting in MWF and that's about it....thank
goodness