Trick or Treat Part 2

Read bottom up Whatever...don't be there for your kids....and since I'm posting this in 2009 she wasn't there in 2008 either even though it was technically her year to ahve them...she's even years we're odd years...

BTW, once you read this you're going to think I'm a saint and wonder what the hell her issue is...I truly don't get it, I would be there with my kids period, especially if I were given an open invite. But that's me...it would've been weird but I wouldn't have actually gone out with them I would've stayed behind and handed out candy or something but....I digress

Oh and this birthday bullshit...she hasn't had Munchkin on his birthday NOR has she asked to have him/them on his birthday in THREE years and in 2007 for Lion's birthday we had to call HER so that she could wish Lion a Happy Birthday, nice. In 2007 for Munchkin's birthday we elected to have a VERY small cookout...like 10 people and didn't invite her because she was having her own party with HER friends/family that she did invite us too and about a week before it was to happen we cancelled, I wasn't subjecting myself to HER world just like I wouldn't expect her to subject herself to my world and my friends...it didn't go over well as it was one of the first; firsts in the next 12 months that made her realize that she was in fact divorced and their lives were being slowly separated and of course it was/is MY fault.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
FromDorothy
Date: Oct 1, 2007 3:03 PM
Subject: Re: Halloween
To:Witch; Wizard

Thank you, now we are all on the same page and like you said, its good to remain consistent.

On 10/1/07, Wtich wrote:
I know Lion has also been asking me daily to trick or treat with them as we typically go as far and as long as we can until we are the last ones out there...so I know Scarecrow wants me and asks often, but Lion does to which made it even more difficult to decide. When the Munchkin birthday change happened they as you can imagine didn't understand what was going on. Why I wasn't at the party, why I wasn't having a party when they were told I was and that's why I wasn't there, why it was fair for him to have two parties when they didn't and they immediately went to you aren't because it's not fair to us. Scarecrow kept saying how if she couldn't spend her birthday with me she would cry all day and Munchkin was probably sad. I explained once you guys decided to have your own party and not have a joint party as we had talked about that it became you guys having a party as that was where Munchkin was on his special day and I explained to them that although we will always be a family because i am their mom and Wizard is their dad that things are going to be different and they now have two separate families and there will be years when I won't see them or Wizard won't see them on their birthdays or certain holidays. It didn't mean that I didn't or Wizard didn't want to be with them on those days as neither of us would want to miss a moment on their special days, but that things are different now and that go forward our families will be separate for most things. That we all love them and want them to be happy, but it is just the way things fall with the calendars etc. Will they have two parties...I told them for me on my end no. Just like with Munchkin I cancelled the party that was planned and just had my parents and Aunt SIL was stopping to drop off Munchkin's gift as they were on vacation for the party at their Dads, there would be no singing, no cake...just Nana and Papa visiting and at some point Aunt SIL would stop over. I don't know if that makes sense, but basically I just told them that go forward it wasn't going to be possible to be together for their birthdays etc., but that the 3 of them always would be. So, I just think that on Wizard's holiday year it would send a mixed message as Ry's birthday approaches and things like that....

From: Dorothy
Sent: Monday, October 01, 2007 2:08 PM
To: Witch
Subject: Re: Halloween

Understood, I just wanted to make Scarecrow happy, as she has said many times that she wants all of us to trick or treat that night but I understand your want to be consistent. May I ask what reason you gave them so that if the situation should arise again we have the same answer on both parts?

On 10/1/07, Witch wrote:
Thanks I will look forward to seeing them. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I just don't want to send them a different message after the conversation that was needed when they realized I wasn't invited to Munchkin's birthday ...so I believe I should stay consistent with the reasoning I gave them as to why I wasn't invited...so by attending I think it will just confuse them in the long run when it comes to only being with me or you guys in the future on birthdays etc. Thanks again, I can't wait to see the pics!

From: Dorothy
Sent: Monday, October 01, 2007 1:56 PM
To: Witch
Subject: Re: Halloween

Hey Witch, I appreciate the response and understand. I know the children will miss having you there and of course we'll take pictures.

Dorothy

On 10/1/07, Witch wrote:

Dorothy,
Thank you for inviting me to spend Halloween with my children. After giving it a great deal of thought I think I am going to pass and not attend Halloween night at the house. I will explain to the children why I feel it isn't the right thing to do and would appreciate you and Wizard allowing me to talk to them. Thanks. Witch