Last night was the fun task of parent teacher conferences woo hoo. I'm blessed to 'work' with teachers who are very willing to communicate unlike back in Kansas and who are genuinely concerned about my sons success. But I'm not a huge fan of p/t conferences overall.
History teacher is very impressed with how organized he’s become and how he is always on task now and he got a solid C on his last test and has a C- in the class; would have a B but didn’t turn in journal entries from the book All is Quiet on the Western Front, which he and I talked about.
Spanish teacher said he’s asking more questions, and that he’s gotten B’s on his last TWO tests, she also asked for ways to modify his test that will help him be more successful, all homework is turned in and he’s good in class; currently has a D+ without the last two tests…so he probably has a solid C now woo hoo!!!
Geometry, he currently has an A-, he hasn’t done so well in class they (teacher and student teacher) said that he has been sort of lazy, not correcting HW problems when they’re going over them, not completing all his HW (ugh) and he got a C on his last test where the first two test of the quarter he got A (98) and A-(89) so him doing his HW and paying attention in class is a direct reflection on how well he does on a test. No worries, he’ll be fine. He did say that he doesn’t like the way the student teacher teaches but he needs to try and work past that…
CAD great teacher, 8 peeps in the class and he has an A-, the teacher said he’s doing great.
English, she was really nice this time engaged in conversation and everything. She said that Tin Man was doing well (A-) overall and he’s working in class independently and in small groups so he’s doing well and other than not managing his time well on his mid-term she has no concerns :) Oh, they’re going to read To Kill a Mockingbird in a few weeks, I think I’m going to read it with him; it’s one of my favorite books and I haven’t read it in a while plus that will give him and I something else to talk about.
Biology, this one didn’t go well at all, the teacher is picking up on Tin Man’s frustration with the her and the class and is starting to get somewhat of an attitude and Tin Man isn’t adjusting to that at all. He feels like she doesn’t teach and honestly she might be teaching and cramming things into her class time but when my son is trying to do a study guide or study for the test and he’s not LEARNING anything then I see a problem. Now, Tin Man has had a poor attitude the last week or so, he’s not working in class and he didn’t study for his last test at all. When it comes to memorizing something great he can do that but for him to actually learn the material and answer the test questions in the required format something has to change but I don’t know how to help him, this stuff is WAY over my head and he went in early twice this week and he said that on Thursday when he went in she didn’t answer his two questions, THE ONLY TWO QUESTION that he didn’t understand; now he could be lying but really..c’mon! I like this teacher as a person but if I were a kid I know I would struggle in her class, she’s VERY FAST paced and she is sort of flighty at the same time. My best hope is for a C that is my hope, that will require a TON of studying before his exam, and I’m asking her for the study guide and answer key at least a month in advance to give him a head start….suggestions, thoughts? At this point we’re looking at summer school.
Overall they went well better than they did during the fall; I just hope we can find a way for him to succeed in biology.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Two Sets of Rules
I slept on the couch last night, didn't attempt to sleep in HIS bed as he put it and oddly I was very comfortable. Journaling last night and sleep gave me some perspective. I remember how I felt when Wizard called Tin Man lazy, liar, etc and I reacted much the same way he did last night. Not acceptable but I get it; I 'attacked' his daughter, I'm not apologizing here because my issue with this situation is that there are TWO sets of rules in the this house, one for Tin Man, anytime he does any little thing he's punished BIG and if I don't punish BIG I'm considered a softy and in Wizard's words "Tin Man will never learn" and then there's his kids, like I said last night Lion has lied to all the adults in our 'family', Witch, me, Wizard and Glenda and I don't recall her being punished ONCE, let alone forced to apologize for it....the other piece is, she lies about stupid stuff but stuff that affects others and could get others in trouble, for example (not that you need an example but I need to journal it out) she said that two boys on the bus made a sexual comment to her, the made a V with their fingers and stuck their tongue through it; we freaked out, we wanted to know who was doing this on an elementary school bus so we could talk to their parents ASAP, through the course of talking to her she revealed that no one had done that TO her but she'd seen it and that she wanted to know what it meant but thought she'd get in trouble if she asked; was she punished for lying and almost getting two INNOCENT boys in trouble, NO; she was talked to, calmly talked to....two sets of rules.
Wizard and Lion just left he woke me up and told me I should go upstairs to bed, I ignored him, then he asked me if I wanted coffee, I said no thank you, then he apologized like this....I'm sorry for last night but you never follow through with punishing him, sure you told him that he couldn't go to his grandma's but you let him have a friend over and you let him go watch a movie somewhere, you never follow through, you always ask my opinion but never follow it. I replied simply we have two separate sets of rules in this house. he said something about his kids were fine, that they get good grades....I stopped him there and said you're creating habits that will carry through to adulthood and you're going to make those teenage years hell, he said that those years wouldn't be hell because he would bust ass..LMAO He has no clue, if Lion is manipulating now the moment he lays a hand on her or punishes her she'll cry to mommy and she'll get children's services involved....where do you think Ry gets it?! So I made that point and he said something about me not worrying about them that I had BIGGER problems, LMAO Yep, my biggest issue is an F and my kid doesn’t' like to study....he's 16 and if those are my biggest issues I'll take them, he'd rather hang out with his youth group friends than some of the jock friends that I'm not a huge fan of....yep I have big problems. He's the one who listens when I talk, sure he argues but no more than any other 16 year old; the other kids well they argue often about most things from chores to sleepovers and Lion treats Glenda like crap and at one point last fall (can't remember if I journaled that out or not) almost had Glenda to the point of quitting; why? Because Lion was LYING LYING LYING and she got NO punishment, instead a meeting between Glenda, Wizard, Witch and Lion...nice....you lie you get more attention....its really frustrating and again why I think counseling is the ONLY option.
I really want the rest of the weekend to be peaceful, I want to have fun with the kids, all of them and just enjoy our time. My differences with Wizard shouldn't affect them but lately I've let those differences get in the way and I'd like that to stop.
I'm going to try and go back to sleep...woo hoo!
Wizard and Lion just left he woke me up and told me I should go upstairs to bed, I ignored him, then he asked me if I wanted coffee, I said no thank you, then he apologized like this....I'm sorry for last night but you never follow through with punishing him, sure you told him that he couldn't go to his grandma's but you let him have a friend over and you let him go watch a movie somewhere, you never follow through, you always ask my opinion but never follow it. I replied simply we have two separate sets of rules in this house. he said something about his kids were fine, that they get good grades....I stopped him there and said you're creating habits that will carry through to adulthood and you're going to make those teenage years hell, he said that those years wouldn't be hell because he would bust ass..LMAO He has no clue, if Lion is manipulating now the moment he lays a hand on her or punishes her she'll cry to mommy and she'll get children's services involved....where do you think Ry gets it?! So I made that point and he said something about me not worrying about them that I had BIGGER problems, LMAO Yep, my biggest issue is an F and my kid doesn’t' like to study....he's 16 and if those are my biggest issues I'll take them, he'd rather hang out with his youth group friends than some of the jock friends that I'm not a huge fan of....yep I have big problems. He's the one who listens when I talk, sure he argues but no more than any other 16 year old; the other kids well they argue often about most things from chores to sleepovers and Lion treats Glenda like crap and at one point last fall (can't remember if I journaled that out or not) almost had Glenda to the point of quitting; why? Because Lion was LYING LYING LYING and she got NO punishment, instead a meeting between Glenda, Wizard, Witch and Lion...nice....you lie you get more attention....its really frustrating and again why I think counseling is the ONLY option.
I really want the rest of the weekend to be peaceful, I want to have fun with the kids, all of them and just enjoy our time. My differences with Wizard shouldn't affect them but lately I've let those differences get in the way and I'd like that to stop.
I'm going to try and go back to sleep...woo hoo!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Tonight, just now actually....Wizard kicked me out of our bed...what would prompt my husband to do this? Well sit back relax and enjoy this story.....and I stand by if he doesn't go to counseling we're divorcing.
He and the girls came home from hitting league, neither child came to say hi or goodnight. Wizard came into our room where I was watching Lipstick Jungle on HULU.com (new fave website) and asked why I let Tin Man go to a friends to watch a movie, I simply answered because I wanted to; he huffed and made the comment he'll never learn, I commented back we have two separate sets of rules, he replied no, YOU have two separate sets of rules; I laughed sort of and said no, WE do; for example when Lion caused the whole upheaval with Glenda, Lion lied about what Glenda said, and what I said and she was NEVER punished, nothing was taken away from...in fact you, Witch and Glenda had a meeting and it all came to light and nothing changed....his response...his JOKE of a fucking response!!!!!!! The difference is Lion's 11 and Tin Man's 16; of course...why didn't I think of that?! I laughed and said NO, the difference is Tin Man isn't manipulating anyone and Lion is.....and then he threw my pillow and kicked me out of our room, LMAO LMAO He can go fuck himself....The very sad part about this....he really believes that because she's 11, she can't possibly lie and definitely can't manipulate...I bet when she's 16 and having sex he'll think she can't possibly be doing that either....idiot! If there were ever two people on this earth who really needed their heads examined when it comes to parenting its Wizard and Witch ....he believes as long as their good athletes and have good grades they're good people and she believes that as long as you give them everything they want they'll be fine....dumb fucks!
I'm so mad I'm shaking....literally shaking. My son is constantly being treated second rate...its my fault but the great part is...I can change it! I talked to Glenda tonight and she told me that every time Wizard comes home he doesn't say hi or how was your day to Tin Man he just tells him to either put away something or do something...never a how are you???? Interesting, of course I wouldn't know because I'm never here....Tin Man's never mentioned it but tonight Tin Man told Glenda that it wouldn't matter how he apologized to Wizard for lying it wouldn't be right or good enough and he was right; I told Tin Man that if he wanted his friend to come over that he needed to apologize, he did. I talked to Wizard shortly after and Wizard told me that Tin Man's friend was at the house; I asked if Tin Man apologized, he said why, and I told him that it was a condition of him being allowed to have his friend over. OH, Tin Man's punishment for lying about having a test...not going to my mom's this weekend...pretty hefty punishment...Wizard's kids never get punished like that, its always go to your room, no computer time, no phone time, etc...whatever! So back to my story, Glenda told me that Lion lied to her today as well, that she had her shirt tied really really short and Glenda told her to fix it and Lion said my dad lets me wear it like this all the time...LIE, he lets her tie it but not the way Glenda said she had it.....Glenda told Wizard that both girls were rude and disrespectful after school today...and she told him about Lion bragging about lying (Lion told Glenda that she could lie to anyone straight to their face and she wouldn't laugh or make a face or anything and noone would every know and she didn't feel guilty about lying) so Wizard just said to Glenda, ya, Dorothy told me that....his response when I told him 'I can't say anything because she said that to Glenda...WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The bottom line, Wizard is going to allow his children to come between us and his angst or whatever it is for Tin Man to come between us and then he's going to end up alone....because no woman in her right mind would take on Witch, his kids and all the debt....no way...and no, I'm not in my right mind, LOL I am a saint; I do alot for this famiy and its time I got respect, praise and appreciation for all that I do and we are either going to be a WE family or we're not going to be anything...its not yours and mine, i'm done with that shit...way done.
I'm even hesitant at this point to buy the SUV, if we divorce what the hell am I going to do with a giant SUV???? I don't know, I'm just really really unsure right now....his episode this week has shown me that he is definitely jealous of Tin Man and definitely will be mean to him because of it....OH and I remember something else, he keeps bringing up Tin Man failing his Spanish test and how Scarecrow said that if she failed would be all upset...ok great that's one kid, not every kid is alike!!! Something Wizard doesn't understand at all he thinks that everyone despite where they grew up, etc should have an automatic need for perfection...not everyone is driven by being #1 or having the most money or the best clothes or the best record or straight A's....some kids like spending REAL time with their families...not just sitting in a car to/from the next game or a meal after the game or on the sidelines of the game, is it nice to go and support siblings...yes but its not the ONLY way of life!!!!!!!!
So tonight and tomorrow morning I'm sleeping on the couch and i'm not hiding it...I'm going to be VERY honest with the kids...we are fighting. Might be mean, stupid, hurtful or whatever but I'm not pretending....I'm done pretending....90% of the time when we leave this house as a 'family' I'm pretending...the happy 'family' pictures from 2 years ago were a nightmare just 20 mins before, Wizard and I fought, he yelled at Lion for something, was pissed of a Munchkin because he wanted something and then in the blink of an eye we looked like the perfect suburban family GAGS...i never wanted to be the faker and here I am....100% fake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every major event in our lives we have bickered because he can't handle the stress of his OWN KIDS, because he can't remain calm, etc...its always a rush and intense, its always urgent even if it doesn’t have to be...its a joke.... UGH....I think i'm done venting but I don't know...I'm still shaking but that could be because I'm cold.....no worries I'll be just fine, I've survived worse and I'm still strong, beautiful, independent and damn good mother!!!!
He and the girls came home from hitting league, neither child came to say hi or goodnight. Wizard came into our room where I was watching Lipstick Jungle on HULU.com (new fave website) and asked why I let Tin Man go to a friends to watch a movie, I simply answered because I wanted to; he huffed and made the comment he'll never learn, I commented back we have two separate sets of rules, he replied no, YOU have two separate sets of rules; I laughed sort of and said no, WE do; for example when Lion caused the whole upheaval with Glenda, Lion lied about what Glenda said, and what I said and she was NEVER punished, nothing was taken away from...in fact you, Witch and Glenda had a meeting and it all came to light and nothing changed....his response...his JOKE of a fucking response!!!!!!! The difference is Lion's 11 and Tin Man's 16; of course...why didn't I think of that?! I laughed and said NO, the difference is Tin Man isn't manipulating anyone and Lion is.....and then he threw my pillow and kicked me out of our room, LMAO LMAO He can go fuck himself....The very sad part about this....he really believes that because she's 11, she can't possibly lie and definitely can't manipulate...I bet when she's 16 and having sex he'll think she can't possibly be doing that either....idiot! If there were ever two people on this earth who really needed their heads examined when it comes to parenting its Wizard and Witch ....he believes as long as their good athletes and have good grades they're good people and she believes that as long as you give them everything they want they'll be fine....dumb fucks!
I'm so mad I'm shaking....literally shaking. My son is constantly being treated second rate...its my fault but the great part is...I can change it! I talked to Glenda tonight and she told me that every time Wizard comes home he doesn't say hi or how was your day to Tin Man he just tells him to either put away something or do something...never a how are you???? Interesting, of course I wouldn't know because I'm never here....Tin Man's never mentioned it but tonight Tin Man told Glenda that it wouldn't matter how he apologized to Wizard for lying it wouldn't be right or good enough and he was right; I told Tin Man that if he wanted his friend to come over that he needed to apologize, he did. I talked to Wizard shortly after and Wizard told me that Tin Man's friend was at the house; I asked if Tin Man apologized, he said why, and I told him that it was a condition of him being allowed to have his friend over. OH, Tin Man's punishment for lying about having a test...not going to my mom's this weekend...pretty hefty punishment...Wizard's kids never get punished like that, its always go to your room, no computer time, no phone time, etc...whatever! So back to my story, Glenda told me that Lion lied to her today as well, that she had her shirt tied really really short and Glenda told her to fix it and Lion said my dad lets me wear it like this all the time...LIE, he lets her tie it but not the way Glenda said she had it.....Glenda told Wizard that both girls were rude and disrespectful after school today...and she told him about Lion bragging about lying (Lion told Glenda that she could lie to anyone straight to their face and she wouldn't laugh or make a face or anything and noone would every know and she didn't feel guilty about lying) so Wizard just said to Glenda, ya, Dorothy told me that....his response when I told him 'I can't say anything because she said that to Glenda...WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The bottom line, Wizard is going to allow his children to come between us and his angst or whatever it is for Tin Man to come between us and then he's going to end up alone....because no woman in her right mind would take on Witch, his kids and all the debt....no way...and no, I'm not in my right mind, LOL I am a saint; I do alot for this famiy and its time I got respect, praise and appreciation for all that I do and we are either going to be a WE family or we're not going to be anything...its not yours and mine, i'm done with that shit...way done.
I'm even hesitant at this point to buy the SUV, if we divorce what the hell am I going to do with a giant SUV???? I don't know, I'm just really really unsure right now....his episode this week has shown me that he is definitely jealous of Tin Man and definitely will be mean to him because of it....OH and I remember something else, he keeps bringing up Tin Man failing his Spanish test and how Scarecrow said that if she failed would be all upset...ok great that's one kid, not every kid is alike!!! Something Wizard doesn't understand at all he thinks that everyone despite where they grew up, etc should have an automatic need for perfection...not everyone is driven by being #1 or having the most money or the best clothes or the best record or straight A's....some kids like spending REAL time with their families...not just sitting in a car to/from the next game or a meal after the game or on the sidelines of the game, is it nice to go and support siblings...yes but its not the ONLY way of life!!!!!!!!
So tonight and tomorrow morning I'm sleeping on the couch and i'm not hiding it...I'm going to be VERY honest with the kids...we are fighting. Might be mean, stupid, hurtful or whatever but I'm not pretending....I'm done pretending....90% of the time when we leave this house as a 'family' I'm pretending...the happy 'family' pictures from 2 years ago were a nightmare just 20 mins before, Wizard and I fought, he yelled at Lion for something, was pissed of a Munchkin because he wanted something and then in the blink of an eye we looked like the perfect suburban family GAGS...i never wanted to be the faker and here I am....100% fake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every major event in our lives we have bickered because he can't handle the stress of his OWN KIDS, because he can't remain calm, etc...its always a rush and intense, its always urgent even if it doesn’t have to be...its a joke.... UGH....I think i'm done venting but I don't know...I'm still shaking but that could be because I'm cold.....no worries I'll be just fine, I've survived worse and I'm still strong, beautiful, independent and damn good mother!!!!
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