really meeting the kids this time...

Ok…finally I'm taking a moment to type up the dissertation that is meeting Wizard's kids :)

To say that I was nervous is an understatement a lot of things depend on this meeting going well and while I know I’m a good person and get along almost everyone I was still worried that one or both of these children would find fault with me because I wasn't their mother. Wizard even commented last night when we were on the phone at how nervous I looked; I guess before I could see them he could see me through a window and said I looked nervous more nervous than he's ever seen me. Which is really funny because when I met A and S I was really nervous because they're like family to him so I felt there was a lot riding on that too but in reality there wasn't and we get along great. I also tend to put lots of pressure on myself in these situations to be 'perfect' and then I compare what I thought I should've been feeling to what I really felt and then beat myself up about it; I know…STOP and I did but not without help. Anyway, on to the actual meeting….For Lion (9) and Scarecrow (6) this was our first meeting and for Munchkin (19months) well I've seen him a few times and always have a blast with him, how can I not, LOL Lion and Scarecrow were both very talkative which sort of surprised me; I didn't expect it from Scarecrow because she was so apprehensive in the beginning but she was chatty Cathy and very funny. Lion was also very talkative but it was different than Scarecrow, I don't know to describe it, the interaction between the three of us was fun and full of laughter, I felt at ease most of the time we were there; we all parent differently and that is my adjustment to make and understand. They did a few things that I had 'issues' with but nothing that was over the top; they're siblings and siblings fight but I've never experienced that since I'm an only child (until I was 19 at least) and TinMan is an only child in the sense that when he's with me it's just us and when I is there and they do fight I handle things differently than other Parents.

Overall they're good hearted and good natured kids and we had a great time playing Uno for about two hours in McDonald's, LOL The first few games were just the girls and I while Wizard fed Munchkin but then Wizard got in the game and I watched Lion do her best to beat her dad, LOL It was funny but knowing how competitive they are it bothered me a little, Scarecrow and I just sat back and were like 'it's just a game of Uno people' and had fun. Munchkin was hilarious; while we were playing Uno Wizard took him out of his high chair and sat him in between the two of us and he was all over the place but then I started zerberting (sp) him and he was ALL over me, it was so funny!!! At one point he held my head to his face and wouldn't let go, LOL During one game of Uno we all tried to beat Wizard…which we won, LOL That was funny and there were funny comments like when we were trying to stop Lion from going out and I reversed the play of the game and Scarecrow said 'you messed up now she can go out', it was funny….and adorable the way she said it with honesty, frustration and then when I explained the 'thought' behind it she was like OH and Scarecrow ultimately won.

I had a great time with them but like Wizard and I have talked about we both built up this meeting to be something huge and it was a huge step but the pressure and expectations that we both had were built up to high and when I did feel all giddy/girly and overwhelmed with joy I felt like I had done something 'wrong' but after talking to Cougar and Wizard I feel much better about the meeting overall and know that there is more to come from here forward and that while I'll never be there mom; and honestly I don't want to be their mom I can be a positive female influence in their lives and that's all I can ask for…..>