Read bottom up...this is priceless ;) Please note spelling and grammatical errors, it's awesome, not only that but her financial burden is her own...must have vans at $700/month, must have house at something like $1,800/month, constant shopping...I still haven't found the time when she bought the puppy in July 2007 on a whim because Lion wanted one and didn't pay for something she was supposed to...it's just amazing...that's her freaking financial burden.
I had responded to Wizard since he forwarded her response to me.
-----Original Message-----
From: Witch
Sent: Wednesday, November 14, 2007 11:34 AM
To: Wizard
Subject: Response
Wizard,
Thank you for the running list of fees. I agree that although you are carrying much of the sporting fees that I have been more than clear that it is a financial burden on me and therefore have asked repeatedly for a discussion with you regarding there participation. At the time when we were divorcing you were wearing a different face and portraying a different picture and making promises to our children that you shouldn't have been in hindsight. You were as my attorney told me working very hard to cover something up. Which we both now know was the case. You are the one that when I asked to pay my portion of the school fees said you had it and that I should not pay. I tried and you did not allow that to happen. So for you to now turn around and use that to throw in my face seems somewhat unfair. I have sent money for lunches, I have paid all medical expenses along the way this year, birthday gifts, bought the new stroller which never finds it's way back to me. I have paid for items when I get them during the week for the children, Halloween costumes, pictures, the full hotel room for which you agreed payment of half etc. All of these things that involve the children are suppose to be split equally. So although you believe you are carrying all of the burden alone you are not.I was very honest with you regarding the clinics, the viola…which we decided she would not participate in and I told you I would not contribute to because I could not afford it and then all of the sudden you were signing her up. Our paperwork specifies that they will be agreed upon. If I do not agree because I cannot afford it there is nothing I can do about it. The divorce has left me very, very tight financially and I am at the point where the only option left is to make the difficult choices. If that means that I will have to accept that the training they are receiving for their sports is enough and the extras are not necessary then that is what needs to happen. The violoa for instance has not been out of it's case once…not once at my house. We agree that there would be no 4x4 soccer yet not only is Lion signed up so is Scarecrow. You cannot make choices for us and expect me to pay for them. Again, I have asked that you and I sit down and talk so we can go through these things yet that request is never responded to or accepted. You are right it may be time to go back to court and discuss what the alternatives are. It's not something I want, but it seems that the current arrangement is not working. I will not be as easily swayed and naïve this time around.
So, if that is what you feel needs to happen and we cannot work through these things then we will go back. why talk to someone who only believes what the voices tell them? You are correct we are going to be a part of eacho thers lives for a long time. I have distanced myself from both of you in hopes that it will make things easier. You both continue to play games in all areas and that has not helped in the respect area. When I have to explain to my children why their Dad told them things wouldn't change and now I am not there for their parties and holidays that is not in my eyes putting the children first. The fact that she refers to my children as hers to my face and to others is not respect that is total disrespect. The fact that I cannot go anywhere without hearing a story about you or her or what you have done or she has done and her behavior or things she has said makes it hard. Removing me from email chains etc. Lack of respect. I could give you 100 examples. People you probably think are your friends stab both of you in the back at every turn.
***this has to be SIL I am really tired of hearing it. I cannot go to softball, church or anywhere else for that matter without someone saying something. I cannot control others from telling me things and have said you know what I don't know what to tell you when they ask me why you have changed so much and that honestly I don't want to hear it but it doesn't make it easier. To have Coach lying to me and then the rest of the team telling me how everyone sat around and talked about it and that it was definitely a team party
**FALSE, there were TWO couples at C's house because they helped with tryouts, Witch didn't help with tryouts…these things do not make it easy for me to have respect for either of you. It's been a long time now and neither of us can control what others say, but reality is I am over it and just don't and can't deal with it anymore. If there was a way for me to disconnect from you totally I would and I have distanced myself as far as possible, but it doesn't seem to matter.
Lets talk about her buying rounds of drinks at the bar and then calling you to ask you for grocery money, that's appropriate or being found by friends laying on a toilet in a bar passed out, that's appropriate or the MANY times she's whispered about me or someone else to me..... For you to pull out putting the children first in a financial matter is almost ironic to me. Do you feel it was putting the kids first to get engaged and move a person into your house and explain it to me as a time to see if things are going to work out? That staying with the first person you dated because you are too lazy to look is the right thing? Do you think that having a person live there and play house as a test is a good example for the kids? Do you think when we have a schedule conflict that putting the kids first is ohhh she can spend the night with so and so - we were going to the movies? Do you think that hiring a nanny that has no experience with children, has never changed a diaper and has a car that is not appropriate is putting your children first? Do you think playing games and having Dorothy draft emails to me and you sending them is the right thing to keep our situation civil? Do you feel that her behavior of twirling her ring in my face, talking to Coaches wife in whispers and then speaking loudly when she is pointing out what she is looking forward to most about being married is the combined income, making a point to respond to things when asked if she is going home do you mean to OUR house when I am there for no reason is helping?
**cause we all know I'm this petty, funny, I didn't live there full time BITCH Telling people that I don't know what I am talking about in regards to Munchkin's skin condition?
Ironically he never had it when he was at our house You missing the kids games or showing up late is that in their best interest?
How about Witch not showing up at all because she's hungover! I could go on and on…so before you ask me to respect her and you maybe you should take a good hard look at really what is going on and deal with the issues you have happening. My children are the most important thing in my life.
Which is why she took THREE WEEKS to decorate her house and decided it was best not to see them and barely calls once a week to talk to them when they're at our home...they're important all right I always put them ahead of everything else. I have given up someone important in my life almost totally because they just couldn't get it….I will not have you or anyone else questioning that. Not anymore. The days when you told me that I was a horrible parent, that I was worthless, that I was lazy and all the other things are over.
Let the past go, the things that she's citing here are seriously old and ridiculous not to mention, didn't she break up with S because he was negative and she didn't want negative people in her life....wait, her bank account is getting low so she might want to hang on to him since B has no money.....to be truthful S is much nicer and WAY better looking. As far as Dorothy putting the kids best interest before her own…you act like that is something that should be rewarded. That is what parents do…it's not something that should even be discussed - that is expected behavior even from a partner in their lives.
I'm confused...I thought I wasn't a parent? We are the adults and I would hope that we are all doing that. What you need to wake up and realize and open your eyes too are the things that she does and her behavior to others that has everyone continuing to question her intentions. I know how you are and are over protective of her as well you should be with all that is being said,
No idead here and truly don't care but reality is you want to paint a picture full of roses, when once and a while there is a thorn in there and you should recognize it and work to better it just not act that it always behavior that is appropriate. I have respect for her that she cares for my children…the other stuff though I don't. It's not a matter of me liking her or not. She is good to my children and as long as that continues she can talk about me and treat me however is best for her. I don't need to be friends with her and all I want is for the kids to be happy. Yes I will continue to call both of you on your backhanded behavior. I am sure you will continue to ignore it and find it acceptable, but I have not intention of being belittled and removed from my children's lives and be put in a position of always explaining why things are different to the kids. Honestly, I running out of excuses.
Seriously, am I a parent or not, because first I'm disrespecting her by calling them my kids and now I'm SUPPOSED to put their interest before my own as a PARENT should...she should really read before she hits send. I know that the girls are picking up on things as they are overly sensitive about what belongs where and making sure it gets here or there and that is not coming from me. They are always saying can I take this I promise I will bring it back etc…I need to be sure I bring it back to Dad's…I can't forget…etc. Like the evening when Dorothy wouldn't respond to me when I said hello and you were very short and slammed the door they asked if you guys were mad at me. Again, not a good thing.
Well, if we didn't have to pay for our part and her's we wouldn't have to be conscious about what clothes go where...in fact lets stop and we'll just keep all the things she sends, we'll spend her money instead of ours....she has more anyway, thanks ma and pa G, we appreciate it! As far as Christmas is concerned…we bought our own gifts last year and assume that will continue. So my questions is are we doing Santa at both houses? Yours and mine? You said they would go back to your house and open their gifts there? We will still need to look at what they want and make sure we are not duplicating gifts especially as long as Santa is involved. I don't know that it is necessary for you to come to the house this year for Christmas morning and spend the day. Honestly, this being your year would mean the opposite. SO, you would have them Christmas morning and me in the evening. So, let me know about the gifts and we can make sure we are on the same page.
I think the two of you should actually sit down and talk about this and don't let her bully you as you have in the past, tell her what you want and be done with it, ignore her whining, etc. She's nothing more than a child so you need to treat her as such. As far as pictures. You can do whatever you like. I assumed you would take what you needed/wanted from the school pictures. I ordered enough I thought for both of us because believe me I don't need 29.00 worth of photos…so if you need more, I will send them back to you and you can take what you want. I was surprised you didn't take more.
Why did you add the thing about the pictures, we had plenty and now you've started another freaking battle...stupid. Thank you for providing the spreadsheet and I look forward to seeing all of the documentation that backs it up. I will also go through it and eliminate all the things I did not agree to and then we can arrive at a number.
Start calling the bank and getting cashed checks because we're going to war baby.ps....she's not getting rid of me, period. Kennedy and I are developing a bond, and the other two already love me and we are not playing house. I want to get married in Hawaii, we'll have a ceremony for our family next fall when we get back......I will need your response about Christmas very soon.
Regards, Witch
Wizards original note; she took something like 3 days to respond
Wizard,
When we divorced it was agreed that we would each provide certain things for our children while they are in each of our homes and that together based on a percentage that we both agreed to we would continue to give them the opportunities that they are used to having in school and with the extracurricular activities, I am holding up my end of that agreement but you are not. I've had 100% of the financial responsibility for our children's school fees/lunches and extracurricular activities. Attached is a spreadsheet of all items that should be divided between us based on our shared parenting plan, I have only included items that have been paid or are currently being paid as well as items that you have notified me you have paid, if you have other items that involve school or sports feel free to send me a list as well as back-up paperwork showing payment, I'm willing to provide the same. I'm asking that you come up with a payment plan and start making payments no later than December 1, 2007. I have been very accommodating to your life and financial changes in the last 18 months but will no longer carry 100% of the financial responsibility of our children, its in the best interest of our children that we share this responsibility; as you are always telling me, the children's best interest are what you are most concerned about. If that is in fact the case you will respond favorably to taking responsibility for your 39% of their school and extracurricular activities. If you are unable to make any type of attempt to pay your agreed 39% we will go back to court, I do not want to resort to that as I'm sure you do not either but you are the only person who will determine that..... You and I will be a part of each others lives for a very long time and I'm hoping we can agree to put our children's best interest first. Part of that is respecting me AND Dorothy, regardless of if you like her or not your children are a part of her life and enjoy being a part of her life and she puts their best interest before herself time and time again. All I'm asking for is simple respect, if you give it, I'm also willing to give it to you. I want to keep Christmas as 'normal' as we can for as long as we can for the children, I'm sure there will be a day that our schedule no longer works in the children's best interest but until that day this is what I'm suggesting, we each buy gifts on our own, this year they spend the night at your house on Christmas Eve and I will come over on Christmas morning to watch them open their gifts and then around 3pm we'll go to my house for them to open their gifts there and spend the rest of the night, next year we'll switch. Also next year I think it would be a good idea if we have the girls get two picture forms and we can just order what we want so no one gets shorted on pictures.
