Fwd: Question

This is how I wish it was all the time!!!!!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Dorothy

Date: Mon, Apr 27, 2009 at 2:10 PM
Subject: Re: Question
To: "Witch>

You're very welcome, I know that I would want to share that moment with my daughter if I had one :)  If she doesn't ask me, I won't mention it but if she does I'l remind her that the two of you will be doing it next week!  IF she won't wait I'll have Wizard  record it so you can still share the moment but that is a huge if :)  Would you have Scarecrow take a few pictures when you guys do it?  I know Wizard likes those moments too.  I'm more like Lion , no soap for me OUCH!

 

I didn't see any redness yesterday but when I felt her legs they were prickly, which is how I figured it out, LOL

 

Dorothy

On Mon, Apr 27, 2009 at 2:06 PM, Witch wrote:

Hi there. 

 

Thank you so much for checking with me.  I really do appreciate it.  I told Lion we would do it next week.  The fact that she did it alone kinda ruins the first moment...ohhh.  I would like to show her if it's okay with you, but if she wants to do it this week and doesn't want to wait as I know waiting is hard for an 11 year old, it's okay with me if  you want to go ahead.  Just take pictures if it happens:)  Just another thought if you guys go for it this week...she has sensitive skin (obviously and you know that I am sure) so I think she will need a good razor and sensitive skin shaving lotion!  Unlike me who uses soap ha-ha!

 

I looked real quick while she was changing...seems odd to me that she has razor burn two weeks later...she must have had it bad immediately after!

 

Anyway, thanks again for checking.

 

Witch

 

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From: Dorothy
Sent: Monday, April 27, 2009 1:51 PM
To: Witch

Subject: Question

Hey there!

 

I was going to show Lion how to correctly shave her legs this week but I wanted to make sure I didn't take away a mom/daughter moment between you and Lion , I know there are certain rights of passage that parents want to share with their children and I didn't want to take that away from you if this was one of those moments :)

 

Just let me know, she seemed to do well with the exception of the razor burn.

 

Thanks!

 

Dorothy

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Once upon an evening...

Last night wasn't bad, not too bad at all. I came home to an empty house which is pretty typical when the Oz children are with their mom so I picked up a little and then started on my evening chores. Wizard had let me know that the girls would be coming over to practice since their respective practices got cancelled, fine. I wasn’t thrilled but I wasn’t upset, I was sort of numb about it. They get there, and it’s hi Dorothy and they’re acting sort of out of control, running around, being really loud, not stuff they normally do at our home and I just ignored them; the ‘problem’ was as soon as they were there I got tense and my walls went up, like a giant protective shield and I was short with my answers, didn’t really talk unless I was talked to, I was rude. I can be honest about it, I was really rude. I didn’t look away from what I was doing on the computer much if at all. I’m having a hard time separating them and their actions from their mother, I am having trouble dealing with the fact that their mother exists and that for the rest of my life I’m going to have to deal with her in some sort of fashion. I’m having a hard time finding my positive attitude about having a blended family, well let me rephrase, I’m having a hard time dealing with the ex wife.

Once upon a time she meant nothing to me, her actions, words, prescence did nothing to me, it didn’t spark anger or nervousness it sparked…eh, whatever. Now, very different story, I get nervous, I find myself comparing things I do or don’t do to things she does or doesn’t do, her appearance with mine…it’s really sad, I’ve become someone I’m not, I typically don’t care about this kind of stuff in my past I’ve never cared, I’ve been like eh, whatever but with this person I’m struggling. For example last night Lion asked me if I’d seen her sunburn from the weekend, I said no (how could I, I didn’t see her all weekend, nice of her to notice) and she showed me, I said well I put sunscreen in your dads bag, so you guys had it, she was like oh I didn’t know that; so Wizard walks in on the end of the convo and says that’s why he needs me at the games, so I can make sure the girls don’t get burnt, I laughed a little and said Witch was there, she could’ve put sunblock on them. Lion says, no she couldn’t she was watching Munchkin so I countered, because I felt the need to defend myself and said so what you’re saying is, that I can watch Munchkin and make sure you have on sunblock but your mom cant? She was like well she was watching Scarecrow’s games too; and I countered again, if I were there I would’ve watched Scarecrow’s games too and Munchkin and made sure you had on sunblock, I think your mom can handle it. Basically Lion confirmed something for me or I feel like she confirmed something for me….they don’t’ have confidence in their mother to take care of them but they do have confidence that I will and can even with 2 games a pre-schooler and everything else going on they have confidence that I’ll make sure they don’t get burnt….ok, so that is a positive and it took me writing this to realize that is a good thing..ok feeling a little better.

My point to this post was of course negative because I just feel consumed with negativity towards Witch and while she has negatives about her they don’t have to affect me if I don’t let them and lately I’m letting them, all the time and I’m tired of it, I want things to roll off my back and say fuck it…you don’t factor into my world…because truthfully she doesn’t have to, not at game, not for a holiday nothing, we have a schedule and we stick to it most of the time and they work it out if they’re going to deviate from it, so why do I make everything about HER…I don’t know but I let her get to me so much that I cried a lot this weekend for good and stupid reasons, I let her get under my skin to the point that I got angry and my son for something minor and acted very out of character and I’m putting up walls against her children to protect myself and my heart from her!

My ideal story/blended family life would be….

Caring only what happens within our family, our home and having fun with our family, friends and each other. Giving and receiving love, respect and appreciation….

The Talk

This weekend I was a complete mess and I think I could feel it starting even on Friday but I pushed on and thought it was just the stress of getting 3 people ready for an overnight stay and a weekend long tournament; plus making sure that TinMan was taken care of as well as having everything I needed to be at the tournament with Munchkin. Today, I feel hope whereas in the last two days I’ve felt very desperate and alone.

My fall out with TinMan was short lived, I apologized immediately and then cried for a while; crying is very healing but at the same time I couldn’t control it so I felt very pathetic. He and I had a good day yesterday overall, he did his homework and hung out and I finished the things I need to for Wizard. So, it was an ok day but also a day of questioning, I blogged, journaled, wrote letters to Witch and Wizard which I had no intentions of sending but I had to get the ‘yuck’ out and I think it helped clear my head a little.

Most of my hurt centered around feeling unsupported by Wizard and I felt very alone with Witch. I’m not Munchkin’s mom, I’m a parental figure and someone he loves but I’m not his mom and sometimes we all just need our moms but at the same time Witch got prego with him because in her words to Wizard ‘I wanted someone to love me, you have the girls, I needed someone’. How stupid and sick is that; have a child when you have a husband that you don’t pay attention to, didn’t love and two children already because you want someone to love you?! I truly don’t get it and I never will and that’s OK, I don’t have to understand the inner workings of her mind but I do need to be able to be around her and not feel extreme stress especially when it’s our week with the children and we’re at a game. So after Wizard and I talked, we had a GREAT talk and came to a solution, which was super nice, we didn’t argue we just talked and I feel a lot better about things, a lot better! Basically if it’s our week and there’s a tournament Munchkin and I are staying home, I explained to Wizard that I wasn’t going to put myself in the extreme stress of that situation where Munchkin is acting out in ways I can’t explain, we were at the field on Saturday for 10 mins (I was thinking what happened to the kid I was just singing with in the car) when he had his first fit and I know she was loving it because I could see the smirk on her face and everything went downhill from there. Horse Whisperer made a good point about him feeling my stress and possibly feeling torn between Witch and I; I never thought of that but why should we put him in that position? Witch doesn’t feel stress because she’s getting what she wants Munchkin needing her; people seeing him need HER and feeling sorry for her and for him because of the divorce, whatever. These are all assumptions based on what I know of her past statements and actions. She also probably enjoyed my little breakdown and discussing it with the one other mom who is on her side but I’m not allowing myself to think of that, I did what I felt was best for ME and for HIM by leaving him with her; when I called her she was truly surprised, she was taken aback and I’m sure somewhat satisfied at the outcome. I don’t really care either way, it is what it is and it’s done.

Wizard and I discussed my feeling of not being supported, he explained that being a coach is more than just being a coach on the field, that he has a ton to do after the game too but he will put more effort into parenting and spending time with Munchkin and I. I also told him something Glenda told me about last week while they were at Witch’s house; this past week was ours but Wizard was out of town on business and has to offer her time with them if he’s going to be gone more than 4 hours (I think that’s BS considering it’s me but whatever) so they were at Witch’s from Tues night to Fri. morning. Back to the Glenda story (sorry); Glenda brings her nephew (4 yr old) with her on M, W and Fri because she takes him to pre-school and picks him up and he and Munchkin get along great up until recently and ONLY at Witch’s house do they have a problem…this is based on what Glenda is telling me; on Monday when they were at our house I had to put Munchkin in timeout for not sharing with the nephew, Munchkin got mad and thought he was going to take away the bat, glove and ball from nephew and not play and he really thought he was going to do it; I was like no way, you need to share and if you’re not going to share you’re not playing with it; he went to time out and wasn’t allowed to play with his bat, glove and ball until after his nap that day; I guess the week before at Witch’s house the SAME thing happened only Witch let him take his toys away from nephew and said NOTHING about sharing. Honestly, I’m not surprised, I watch her get down on her hands and knees and take a toy train from another little boy and give it to Munchkin; the train was Munchkin’s but he was sharing and then wanted it back so she took it…stupid bitch. Ok, so FF past that to about Thursday when they’re at Witch’s again, Glenda said that Munchkin was all dressed in his baseball stuff cleats included and nephew was sitting on Munchkin’s blanket so Munchkin comes down out of Witch’s room (you can see the downstairs from her room and she saw this or so Glenda said) and Munchkin starts pulling the blanket out of nephew’s hands and when nephew says can I use your blanket Munchkin says NO and the only reason Munchkin wanted the blanket was because he just wanted it, he wasn’t going to use it so Munchkin gets mad and kicks nephew in the mouth with his cleats ON…Witch did NOTHING; nephew had a bloody lip and SHE DID NOTHING. So, that’s the kind of parenting we’re dealing with; I told that story to Wizard and he immediately said that he would be doing a better job of being more hands on with Munchkin and I really feel that if Munchkin gets that dad isn’t fucking around that these behaviors might stop….I’m hoping.

My goal over the next 30 days is to meditate, journal and placemat my way through this issue because this issue is really hurting ME, it’s causing me a ton of stress (I didn’t eat much all weekend, some cheese it’s here and there, a yogurt, two waffles and a bowl of cereal) and I need to be healthy for myself, my son and the rest of the family. So, I’m going to get through this, I’m going to let Witch be herself and constantly remind myself that what she does has NOTHING to do with me; what she does in her home has NOTHING to do with how we run our home and what she does at games, public places and events has NOTHING to do with me; ultimately she will be the one to deal with her lack of parenting and lack of helping herself out of her own black hole, while I’m out of mine and enjoying my life; I WILL enjoy my life. I have too many blessings of a great family, friends, extended family, etc to not enjoy my life. I’m hoping that my 30 day experiment continues to be a daily activity so that when something comes up, I can hand it off to the ‘powers that be’ and go about my business trusting that I’m fine and all really is well.

Wish me luck and if you don’t want to receive updates please let me know because I’m going to be journaling a lot!

What a child needs

I had a nice evening of conversation with a couple that we have recently been getting to know. They are expecting their first child. We sat up for hours talking, and for a portion of that conversation I felt like we were touching on a special realization for fathers. We were discussing our own childhoods. My friend was telling me about how his own relationship with his father has effected his thinking on being a father himself. We both had a similar experience. Our dads were focused on "providing for their family". Neither of us could recall many heart-to-heart talks or emotional bonds. What we could recall was strong work ethic and a dutiful approach to life. We began to consider: Is it possible that nearly a whole generation of dads mostly missed what their children needed them to provide?
We began to consider the balance of a dad's responsibility toward his family in both financial and emotional aspects. I think the dilemma is just as real for the wife as it is for the children. I remember times in my life where I would come home from long work days with the feeling of 'responsibility accomplished' only to find that my wife needed something more. She needed my time, my words, and my help. But I had the mentality of my dad: I was doing what I was supposed to in "providing for the family". What frustration we enter into, when our idea of providing is mostly defined as working to provide physical things. What we both eventually discovered is that we would rather live in poverty to give our children their real needs than provide them with the stuff the world says they need.
As we talked, we both concluded that a dad can't ignore his need to provide food and clothing for his family and that a dad is surely to be concerned about the physical needs of his family. But he is not to be consumed by these concerns. That is not the point of our lives. When we looked back we saw that our dad's were consumed and that we had the same magnet pulling us.
This idea reaches into the subject of contentment. Paul instructs us in scripture to "be content having food and raiment." So much of our idea of providing has stretched beyond those bounds today. If the last generation lost their fathers to this mentality, this generation is even more endangered. Now it's a distant mom and dad reaching toward financial goals; content only with the right house, and the right clothes, and the nice vacation, and the carefree cars, and their kids having everything kids their age have. All the while, people miss what kids need. They need us. To truly find contentment and joy, our children need the long conversations. Our sons need the dad who is a mentor. Our daughters need the mom who cooks and creates with them. They need to hear our experiences and the lessons of our journeys. They need us to pass along the heritage of wisdom we've uncovered. They need us to teach them. Never in history has their been a generation of parents who take less responsibility for the instruction of their children. The amount of time the average parent spends with their children is unprecedented low.
Change begins with determining our values. It would be good to consider and "repent" of our idea of "providing for the family" if we want to establish a refuge of love with our children. When we are able to sit and consider it, most of us would agree that we would much rather leave our children a legacy of love and memories than some cash and a timeshare. That decision begins now.
Blessings.
Jesse

Breakdown?

I think I'm have an emotional breakdown..yipee just call me a statistic or a freak, either one is unflattering.

Yesterday I freaked out because Munchkin was out of control and there wasn't anything I could do about it because 1. we were in public and 2. his mother was babying him so to teach him a lesson I thought we would leave and I also thought I would have the support of my husband which I did not; I left with my husband thinking that I was mad at him, which I wasn't just hurt beyond explanation at the fact that I received a kiss and nothing more while HIS crying toddler stood with Witch. Witch walked Munchkin and I to the car and I didn't see Wzard again until I called to tel lhim I had a few things for him; then proceeded to explain how he needed to step in a little more when we are out in public, especially if Witch is there, he said all she'll tell me is he's her son, I laughed and siad well he's YOUR son too and its YOUR week, step up and support me a little, he then used his excuse that he's coaching and blah blah, I kept explaining that I wasn't talking about during a game that I was talking about the fact that his ex wife walked me to the car NOT him. So Munchkin and I were on our way home, him crying in the back me crying in the front and I just oculnd't take it so I called Witch and told her to take him, that he needed to be iwth his mom and she tried to talk to me telling me she just thinks he;s tired, but it had nothing to do with him crying mommy and everything to do with Witch and Wizard take advantage of me, I'm their in home or at game babysitter when it's convienent for them but when they don't like what I'm doing its no long conveinent, well...fuck that, I've invested my heart into these kids and I'm not going to be underminded or disrespected (Munchkin yelled at me twice yesterday, that never happens at my house or in public). So I was proving my point that if you want me to participate you better support me or his ex wife and the childs mother can keep him. So I called Wizard to tell him that munchkin was with his mother, he freaked out; said i gave her what she wanted (honestly, I'm not sure I did, there was geniune concern in her voice when she was trying to talk to me) I told him I didn't care, he said he was sure she heard us fighting in the parking lot, I agian said I don't care, this isn't about HER this is about YOU suppoerting ME and being a father when you're done coaching, instead you go off with your softball teams and you spend time with them but you don't even walk your wife and son to the car you think a single kiss at the field is goodbye. He still didn't get it. I was sobbing for the entire hour drive home, even talking to a friend only helped a little, I spent most of yesterday sobbing off and on, pathetic.

So that was my breakdown yesterday, it's only 10:30am and I'm breaking down again, this time it's all my fault, 100% my fault. I love my son to pieces and i would never hurt him but today I did something that shocked both of us. He was eating his breakfast and we were talking about his homework, he starts getting pissed off because he claims that he doesn't know how to do it, i basically told him I didn't care, he was supposed ot have it done weeks ago and his teacher was giving him a break and letting him finish it; he claimed his partner was supposed to do this part but never did and that he did a majority of parts one and two and his partner was supposed to do three and four, well his partner never did four, so he's pushing my buttons and I'm tryinjg to calmly explain that he needs to complete it, he needs to pass this class. Then he says he's just going to go sit in the office and do nothing because he doesn't knwo how to do the project, he starts cleaning up his breakfast dishes and throws his plastic cup in the sink, unacceptable, so i'm madder, i tell him that we've asked him to rinse off his plates and bowls many times and put them in the dishwasher and he never does it; he yells I was getting to it, so he rinses his plate with the sponge and then throws the sponge on the clean pots and pans in the drainier, I pick up the sponge and flick the water at him and am yelling don't do that....I was completely irrational, he went to his room, i go to my room sobbing wondering what the hell just happened and what the hell is wrong with me.

i'm normally a strong person but for weeks I've felt weak and out of sorts and I'm just struggling to figure out if I'm having a mental breakdown or what. I'm getting little support from ty because he's not home much....practice Monday-Friday so i'm on my own when it comes to kids, chores, rules, etc which is a pain in my ass and then I also have the challenges of the teenager and now the pre-schooler who are both somewhat out of control...I just want to go away, a break from everyone and everything.

The best part is, i reached out to my husband this morning but he's too busy coaching to read anything I send him but he's not to busy to call and ask me for another parents phone number...my life is grande.

if I could give any advice don't marry someone who's been married before with children...especially a man, because men might be physically stronger but they're total pussy's, the bio mom will control their world, wizard is too afraid of witch to stand up to her and he hates her so much that he'd never take any of my suggestions like counseling for all of us and having weekly or monthly parenting meetings together so that the kids truly are the focus....so I'll just sit in the room that I don't feel is mine and sob the day away and hope that ina few hours I feel better.

Projects, boredom, blah

Lately it seems like if I don't have a project or 'something' going on I'm seriously bored, at work, at home and in life all around. What's the deal, my schedule is slam packed every day of the week and the only thing I'm finding true enjoyment doing is readin the stupid Twilight Series again...Yes, i have issues but it's good and now that I've seen the movie I go back and see the book a little differently and can see how the script was written to get all the key points in place but not drag the story out. Holy crap, i'm officially weird, I just analyzed a script vs a book....WTF is wrong with me?! LMAO

Whatever, if I could put my thoughts on paper (real paper) properly I would write a book but my thoughts are always so jumbled but I think I could write a fantastic story using parts of my life, I think it would end up being funny, heartwarming, dramatic...well as dramatic as you can a make 'normal' persons story.

I've also become obsessed with Twitter, LMAO That is one weird social network, there's no rhyme or reason to posting unless you want to know that I love sharpies and Ashton Kutcher wants to reach a million followers or that pdiddy (who posts like every 5 minutes) recording...it's nuts but funny! I enjoy reading random peoples whatevers, it's amusing plus you can be super honest in less than 140 characters and really leave peeps WTF'd...my fave thing to do!

I really wonder what I used to do with all my 'free' time, when I was single...more or less when I had a boyfriend and a child instead of a husband and children and for the life of me I can't figure out what I really did, went to the gym after work most days, watched the same shows I watch now only I watched them 'live', went to friends houses, games, etc but I never really did anything important or mind blowing, nothing that I was overly passionate about....interesting, maybe I'm just a boring person who likes boring things...and wine, I really like wine.

The husband is gone until Friday night, the only kid I have in my house is 16 and totally capable of doing everything himself and I'm bored, LMAO Someone snap me out of it!

Step Family Letter Project

This is an amazing blog if you're living in a blended family, truely amazing....I like reading the letters some are really loving, some are mean and some are outrageous but they all remind me that 1. I love my blended family and 2. I am strong enough to deal with all the things that come my way even when I don't think I am....

http://stepfamilyletterproject.wordpress.com/2009/04/09/dear-stepmom-2/

Why are stepmom's special

This came from a comment on stepmommag.com and I just loved it so much I had to share

I think we're special because we have to earn the love of our stepkids, we have to take everything that the BM's throw at us, We show society that we love our stepkids reguardless of who gave birth...and we are rediculed for it, but we continue with our heads held high. We are labled Crazy, weird, intruders, ect just because we LOVE our kids. While they get to play victims whenever they get the chance. And no matter what the issue we are the ones who get brought up and belittled. But when there is that time the BM's need help who do they get it from....that's right US. We are STEPMOMs, woman with strength, courage, and pretty thick skin...we are beaten down, and we get right on up, we are called everyname, and even though so might penetrate and hurt, we keep on LOVING...We are classy ladies, we are stepmom's BUT we are MOM's too!

Are you my mommy?

Ok...so I should have lots of really nice things to say since its only Monday, right?! Well..I do and I don't, first Happy Be-lated Easter (if you celebrate) and I hope you enjoyed time with your families. We went to a friends and spent most of the day but had a really good time. The Oz children got there about 3pm, I think. They all had fun.

Today's story centers around a bad step-mom moment that I need to get out so I can 'let it go'. It's stupid but then again it's not. Last night we were getting things ready for the week, it's going to be weird one, the Oz kids are at our house for two days then they go back to Witches for three days and then back to our house for the weekend, Wizard is traveling for work and has to offer her the kids if he's going to be gone more than four hours. Do I think she really wants them back..no, but she would NEVER let them stay with me..I'm not their MOTHER or a PARENT, just ask her.

So...I'm having the Oz girls get their things ready for the week and upcoming weekend, they both have a tournament this weekend so as I'm doing this Munchkin is all over me to pitch to him, I explain that I'll pitch when I'm done. I get done with the girls and need to move on to Munchkin...he has clothes that need to be tried on so I have him try on the clothes and am separting what fits and what doesn't and he asks me why I'm always so busy, I tell him because I'm a mom. He gets MAD, tells me that I'm not HIS mom, he only has ONE mom, etc. Now if you've read blogs of the past this probably came up about the two mommy thing...if I haven't written about it I'll explain in a few. Basically I tell him that I'm not his mom, that I'm TinMan's mom. He goes on to tell me I'm Dorothy, not Dorothy mommy and that he wants me to be Dorothy; which is VERY interesting considering the last week they were home he was calling me mom, and mommy and I was the one correcting him. Anyway, his reaction seriously hurt my feelings, I wasn't mad at him and I know that Witch is the one telling him these things but it still hurt and I left the room. I definitely didn't want a 3 yr old to see me cry...so I went to do laundry, Wizard came in, I explain what happened and proceeded to unleash hell on him....poor man. I was yelling at him telling him that she (Witch) should feel lucky that they have someone like me, who will cook, manage schedules, do laundry, make sure they're safe, loved, taught morals, taught how to have friends (good friends) and a few other things but I was yelling and crying and asking him at what point what she going to realize how lucky she is?! Never, that's when; she'll never see it as I do, that they're lucky to have both of us, I don't like her but she's their mom, period and they love her so that has to mean something; if not to me, it does to them. She just doesn't get it and friends have said that maybe she's worried that I'm fulfilling the role of 'mother' and she's fulfilling the role of 'friend' since she rarely disciplines and almost always gives in or just lets it slide whatever 'it' is...who knows but I just would like this meaness to stop, I don't brainwash Munchkin into believe that I'm his mom or that he has two moms....but the fact is he DOES have two moms a mom and a step-MOM.

All the two moms bs starts sometime about a year ago; Munchkin and I were home alone and he had just come home from Witch's house and he started asking me why he was at our house, I explained that it was our time (Daddy and Dorothy) with him and he asked if I were his mom....now he's 3, how do I explain step-mom to a 3 yr old? I did my best and I said well...I'm Dorothy mom, you have a mom but I'm Dorothy mom...that satisfied him and that's the last I heard about it....maybe I handled it wrong, I don't know...I did my best and wasn't trying to be mean or take anyone's place, I jsut did my best. So, FF to about 4 months down the road and Munchkin is at Witch's house and says to her (Glenda witnesses that's how I know this) I have two mommy's; I have Mommy and Dorothy Mommy. Glenda said that Witch's face turned livid, that she was so mad that she told him NO, you don't have two mommy's you have ONE mommy, I'm your mommy, Dorothy is just Dorothy. She must've said it over and over to him the whole week because when he came home the next week he told me that mommy told him that I was just Dorothy, I said ok and he questioned me a couple of times if I was Dorothy or Dorothy mommy and I told him I was whoever he wanted me to be, if he wanted me to be Dorothy I would be Dorothy and he said no, I want you to be Dorothy mommy, I was like ok then that's what I am. So that was back in Oct/Nov 2008, it happened off and on where he would question me as to 'who' I was and I would tell him whoever he wanted me to be and some days it would be Dorothy and others it would be Dorothy mommy but never had he told me that I was not his mom the way he did last night. Which tells me that Witch didn't let it go as easily as I did and that off and on she must be asking or something and reminding him of who I am....how sick is that?! Am I wrong to think that's sick or mean to the child? I don't want him to think I'm his mom but I do deserve respect and credit for being a parental figure in their lives, I do and give a lot to those children, as much as I do my own son so she needs to step back a lot or I'm going to step up.....

SIL Humor

This will be brief but as most of you know the SIL and I haven't spoken in over a year and when I say haven't spoken I mean that her mom lives 2 doors down from me and I don't wave if I see SIL there, I wave to her mom but not her.

Well apparently SIL and Witch aren't speaking either and so SIL has come back to the 'dark side', LMAO Witch was right SIL is SO TWO FACED! I will give Witch that one and sadly I learned the VERY VERY hard way by trusting and telling her things...not super secret things but things about Witch and I'm sure she told Witch all the things I said and I could tell Witch all the things SIL said too but why bother I recall graduating high school quite some time ago.

So, it's a beautiful Sunday we have kids everywhere and friends are over and coach is over with his kids it was just a fun day, Scarecrow comes in with her cousin whom I haven't seen in a LONG time and is SIL 's middle daughter, she's cute, talks to me tells me about her new braces and Scarecrow is just so excited to see her, they go outside and play with the rest of the kids. At some point a little later the door bell rings and Wizard answers it, I'm in the laundry room doing what else but laundry and its SIL she came to pick up her daughter, no biggie to me. Then I hear Scarecrow yelling for me, I'm like what?! She says did you know that Aunt SIL is here, I said yes, she said well she wants to say hi so come outside, in my head I'm going WTF?! SIL hates me, has talked shit about me and now thinks that I'm going to be her BFF because she and Witch aren't friends, WHATEVER! I smile, tell Scarecrow I'll be out as soon as I get the laundry in the washer.

I put my best 'game face' (the face I put on in front of Witch, the children, and anyone else I don't like) on and go outside and say hi, she asks where Lion is because she hasn't seen her since October...interesting that would be about the time of one kids bday but I can't remember which and I'm sure that since Oct. Witch and SIL have fought about something, do I care, not really. I'm nice tell her how everyone is, ask about her oldest and say hi to the youngest, to my surprise BIL (brother in law) is there...I dont' like him much more than her but for different reasons. We make small talk and then they're on their way. It was a long 10-15 mins. I mean really...thanks for being nice but fuck off...I don't like you and you don't like me so just collect your child, smile and leave...fake ass

Hates Glenda

So, it's been a GREAT weekend, I know by the title of this post it doesn't look like it's been great but it has :)

Friday
We all went to lion's soccer party at a bar/pizza place, GREAT pizza, the kids seem to have fun except Lion lost her socks...grrr But luckily we found them another mom has them. The parents seem pretty nice, I haven't interacted with them much, a couple of them seem a little snooty but whatever, I don't care and I'm trying not to judge. Overall it was a great time, I had to pick up TinMan from practice and went back, he ate a whole medium pizza by himself in like 15 mins, OMG! He's getting so big, he's taller than me and he's just big in different ways, maturity I guess :)

Saturday
Scarecrow and Wizard were off to practice; Lion, Munchkin and Tinman and I were at home until TinMan's game at 2, good times, they lost but it was a great game! TinMan saved a few goals, which was totally awesome! After the game we came home and had our old neighbor and her daughter came over and played with us, Munchkin had a blast with them; he kept changing jerseys playing lacrosse, it was so funny he would be the blue team and then the white team and he was so funny, he would change like every 5 mins....so cute! after our neighbor left we went to dinner at Quaker Steak & Lube as a family, all in one car and had a BLAST!!! It was so much fun and so nice to all be together, I can't explain it!

The downer of the day came when we Lion, Scarecrow and I were talking next year and Scarecrow said that Lion should watch them after school and I laughed, and said no we're not doing that; nice try and they said something about hating Glenda and I put my foot down, told them both that we all (Wizard, me and Witch) like Glenda, she does a good job and we're all happy with her; that's when Lion AND Scarecrow tell me that their mom hates Glenda...which is why GLenda has so many problems with them there...bullshit, what parent does that?! I hate Witch and I don't tell them that...she pisses me off with her idiocy (is that a word)?!

The other bitch I have is that I added songs to Lion's ipod..reminder she's 11 and the movie House Bunny is on her ipod...anyone recall that Witch had a problem with The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2? Because they eluded to sex because they said the condom broke....but instead she lets her 11 year old daughter watch a movie about a Playmate....there's partial nudity, cussing (not a big deal) and sexual humor.....nice, right? it's about being ditsy and using you boobs to get what you want and being drunk...great morals.

So that's my bitch for the day....idiot!

Christmas Plans and presents...

...for 2007, I have to say it was an adjustment year for ALL of us; however, just because we were adjusting doesn't mean that Mommy should've gotten 'credit' for all the wonderful presents....IMO....

For the recrod 2007 was the worst Christmas in the history of my life, I have never felt so helpless, crappy, worthless and out of sorts in my life, ever. It was AWFUL!

I didn't know the kids well and so their Christmas as far as gifts went wasn't great and that's something they and Wizard weren't used to...good times, I just wanted the day to be over.

Oh and when she said there would be VERY few things from her and one or two from Santa...big fat liar...she bought them a Wii, umm Scarecrow a ipod Nano Video, Munchkin clothes and toys lots...it was nuts, based on what Wizard told me....basically she lied.

bottom up :)

-----
From: Witch
Sent: Monday, November 19, 2007 10:29 AM
To: Wizard
Subject: Re: Poinsettias

Or none from Santa. I will tell them Santa is coming to your house and a little things left at mine. Witch

----- Original Message -----
From: Wizard
To: Witch
Sent: Mon Nov 19 10:15:07 2007
Subject: RE: Poinsettias

just let the kids know what is going on

-----Original Message-----
From: Witch
Sent: Monday, November 19, 2007 10:10 AM
To: Wizard
Subject: Re: Poinsettias

There will be very few things and most will be from me. A present or two from santa.

----- Original Message -----
From: Wizard
To: Witch
Sent: Mon Nov 19 09:19:07 2007
Subject: RE: Poinsettias

Why? And what are you doing in place of that

-----Original Message-----
From: Witch
Sent: Monday, November 19, 2007 9:07 AM
To: Wizard
Subject: RE: Poinsettias

I don't think I am going to have Santa come to my house...perhaps two gifts that's it.

________________________________
From:Wizard
Sent: Monday, November 19, 2007 8:59 AM
To: Witch
Subject: RE: Poinsettias

What do you mean by I am not doing santa at my house like we usually do?

-----Original Message-----
From: Witch
Sent: Monday, November 19, 2007 8:51 AM
To:Wizard
Subject: Re: Poinsettias

No poinsettias.
I am not doing Santa at my house like we usually do. Will send you what I have later.

----- Original Message -----
From: Wizard
To: Witch
Sent: Mon Nov 19 08:36:20 2007
Subject: Poinsettias

Hey if you sold poinsettias I need to know how many and what type we are putting the order in today.

Also if you have bought Christmas presents I need to know what you have purchased because we are shopping this week.

LMAO

My dear husband always knows how to make me feel better....because we overpaid child support in February we'll underpay $200 in March, which means it's actually a $400 reduction this month. I do not think this is a great thing because we're 'hurting' Witch because well I'm hoping that she has her shit together enough that we're not going to 'hurt' her...I'm hoping that she planned for the double reduction; she got the same paperwork we did...but if she didn't it's going to be ugly...wish me luck.

In many ways I feel sorry for her, she hates so much and she is jsut not friendly and has no real friends that I know of; she has many many superficial friends. You knwo the ones, HI, I haven't seen you in forever, or the ones that you only speak to at sporting events or work, not ones you actually have dinner with, go to the movies, shopping, or invite over to your house. OH wait, she does have one of those and she's just as bitter and bitchy as Witch...why the get along probably.

Ok I think I'm done bitching for a min. I'm still going to find the old stuff, change the names and post it....at some point.

March Expenses

I had this on the other blog and then realized I needed to vent more...so I deleted it plus that's my happy place this is my dark place...kind of like Wicked.

 

Ok, so here's the best part...the dumb bitch doesn't even remember that she agreed to pay for the Viola but didn't agree to pay for the Flute; that she once told Wizard that unless he discussed things with her in advance she wasn't paying...yet she's paying or the Osgood Schlatter braces....and those weren't discussed.

 

Now that the child support was reduced by $200 she's going to be like this, not to mention last weeks episode regarding the parenting and keeping the children safe.  This is the part I hate about being married to Wizard...I lvoe the kids, I love the man but this money stuff pisses me off to the core!  Why do I get involved? Becuase its my money too, because they're my kids too; regardless of blood, birth, etc  They are and when she pulls the 'whoa is me, I can't afford' BS I cringe....I was a single mom for a VERY long time 12 years, I didn't do all of it but there were MORE times than not that I went without something material...like a Van or new clothing or name brand clothing so that my son could play soccer, or get new shoes or something that he needed or deserved...do you think Witch Oz does that...FUCK NO....nope, she bought a $30,000 van not thinking that her financial situaiton may EVER change, she uses credit not thinking that her financial situation could change...nope it's all about having what she wants when she wants it...she truly lives by the instant gratifcation motto.  She truly believes that if her kids WANT it they should have it...REGARDLESS of what may need to be sacraficed.

 

I have so many examples and will find them from my other blog because I NEED to get more yuck out...I feel a bitchy night happening!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:Wizard

Date: Wed, Apr 1, 2009 at 12:55 PM
Subject: FW: March
To: "dorothy

Pants are at our house, not paying for the viola and I didnt tell her about the bb lesson

 

 

 -----Original Message-----
From:Witch

Sent: Wednesday, April 01, 2009 12:54 PM
To: Wizard

Subject: RE: March

I will send you 83.79 for March expenses...subtracting the viola, the pants and the basketball lesson.

 

---

From: Wizard
Sent: Wednesday, April 01, 2009 12:39 PM
To:Witch

Subject: March

Event	Total Amount	Wizard 61%	Witch 39%
Lion Flute Rental Fee (occurs monthly)	$30.90	$18.85	$12.05
Lion Viola Fee (occurs monthly)	$21.35	$13.02	$8.33
Lion & Scarecrow Helmets	$60.96	$37.19	$23.77
Scarecrow Basketball Lesson	$30.00	$18.30	$11.70
Scarecrow softball pants	$12.00	$7.32	$4.68
Lion Spring Break Soccer Camp	$75.00	$45.75	$29.25
Scarecrow lunch	$28.00	$17.08	$10.92
Lion Osgood Schlatter braces	$20.00	$12.20	$7.80
March Total	$278.21	$169.71	$108.50

 

not even 24 hours...

...and I'm already done. The kids haven't been home even 24 hours and Wizard is already starting. TinMan had counseling last night, a good session minus the fact that he didn't read last week. The counselor said that things at home seem good from TinMan's perspective, he says he hasn't had any adjustment problems, he's not violent or cutting himself or anything crazy like that; he's not overly angry, isn't overly disrespectful or getting in trouble with the law.

I tell Wizard all this last night and he's overjoyed with the fact that TinMan is just a teenager...something I've been saying for a year now. My only concern was that the counselor didn't bring up the past, which is what the school psychologist said is most likely the problem but I planned to bring that up with the counselor to see what he thought.

Wizard calls just now of course middle of the work day, what better time to discuss my teenage son's counseling session, right?! He called to tell me that there HAS to be something wrong that lying to a teacher and lying to us and not doing homework or studying for tests can NOT be normal, LMAO....seriously?! I don't know what world her grew up in but honestly I lied to my parents, teachers, friends, etc when I was a teen, i think its part or becoming an individual..in fact I've read on several parenting sites that it IS part of becoming and individual and 'rebelling'; so TinMan's version of rebelling happens to be not studying....THANK YOU, at least he's not having sex (and yes I KNOW my son isn't having sex), doing drugs, cutting himself or others, beating up others, drinking or any of the other nonsense I worried about...no my son is NORMAL...THANK YOU! Basically I spent 10 mins on the phone listening to him complain about the counselor which let me tell you is fucking annoying.

We're AMAZING when it's just us or even just us and TinMan...but we're better when we're alone when the kids get factored in well it becomes a VERY difficult situation for me, I love them all and I give them all my love which means at the end of the day there's NOTHING leftover for Wizard or me and Wizard just doesn't get that; not sure how to help him understand but somehow he's got to!

In other news, not really as dramatic or stupid as not wearing helmets on the street but Witch bought Munchkin new tennis shoes which is GREAT however they're 1. white and 2. have to be tied. Now if you've ever had a 3 yr old you know that it's not easy to get them to sit still to put on shoes that velcro let alone shoes that freaking tie and as many times as I have to be the one to tie them, I wasn't happy. White for a 3 yr old is stupid, especially in spring...c'mon they'll be khaki before the end of April. I'm going to buy him new Cars shoes like the ones he had and was super happy about....and they velcro!

aww poor baby...

...so now that Wizard yelled at Witch for not parenting she's being a true bitch to him but only hurting the kids. What is she doing, I know you're dying to know....well Lion got tickets to a game and Wizard said he'd take her but since it's Witch's week and she's still pissed off about her parenting being questioned she told Wizard no. The funny part is....Lion walks ALL over her mother so Lion will be going to the game with her father it's only a matter of time before Witch caves. The even funnier part is Wizard NEVER does this even when Witch tries to bait him into saying no to something on his week he never falls for it...another reason I love him.

Parenting..what is that?!

So after months and months of freedom from the Witches idiot parenting we have our metldown which also means that the Witch will be on a rampage since Wizard questioned her not once but several times.





Background, Glenda's car broke down yesterday and her other car needs new tires and she didn't feel comfortable driving the kids in it so she told Witch to bring the children to her house but she wouldn't be driving. Witch took the day off of work but bitched about it....not shocking. So Witch is home with the three kids, its spring break so she lets Lion have a friend over...good times! Well Lion and Scarecrow got these for Christmas....




This sleek, motorized Eurostyle scooter, available only at Toys R Us, comes equipped with two full range speakers and a docking station that is compatible with all current versions of the Apple iPod, so kids can cruise around the neighborhood as they listen to their favorite tunes. With its white exterior, the iMod is designed to match the classic, clean look of an iPod, while boasting 16" tires and over 10 miles of smooth cruising capability at speeds up to 15 mph on a single charge. The iMod also comes with an FM stereo so kids can tune into their favorite stations. Kids can lift the seat to reveal a special storage compartment. 2 rechargeable "12V Lead Acid" batteries required (included) and 4 "AA" batteries required (not included). Apple iPod not included. Weight limit 170 lbs.

Ok....so they get those for Christmas; please note the model in the picture has on a HELMET. So, yesterday Witch stayed home with the kids and let Lion have a friend over, well Lion, Scarecrow and friend all went outside and rode their scooters, harmless right?! Until the friend wrecks and messes up Scarecrow's scooter AND hurts herself, bruises and cuts AND NO HELMET....I repeat NO HELMET...did I mention that they're allowed to ride on the ROAD....on the ROAD. Witch claims that they're only allowed on her road but Glenda saw them on the street behind their house without supervision. How did Wizard find all this out? Lion's friend told him all about their day when he dropped off Scarecrow after practice and took the friend home...nice.

What else did he find out? That Munchkin (age 3) has been riding on the back WITHOUT a helmet...Witch's defense...I was right there. OMG, seriously, does she care about her kids and their safety? Wizard went off at first and Witch said she couldn't be outside every minute and didn't knwo they didn't have on helmets, LIE LIE LIE. She doesn't make them wear helmets, after Christmas Glenda asked for the rules and Witch told her they didn't have to wear helmets. So, not only is she an idiot for putting the girls at risk but she also puts her toddler at risk and Lion's friend. What she didn't understand was that if something happened to Lion's friend she is LIABLE, it's her responsibility financially, not to mention the mental weight it would have if she got seriously hurt. Wizard resorted to begging her to keep the kids safe, basically told her that their safety meant the world to him; she responded that she felt the same way, so he told her to act like, LMAO

What gets me is that she 1. doesn't make them wear helmets and 2. lets them ride on the road and claims they only ride on her road BUT yesterday they were at the ENTRANCE of the neighborhood, which intersects with a VERY busy road named after a fruit....it's bullshit. She didn't watch what they were doing at all and her defense against that was 'its no different than them riding their bikes at your house' LMAO YES, there's a BIG difference 1. they KNOW, no helmet, no bike and 2. they ASK before they leave and 3. check in when they're done...basically our rule is you can ride around twice and then I want to hear from you. Why the overprotectiveness well...because if we just let them go and never have them check in how do we know they're missing? We wouldn't and thats a problem.

The last thing...ever seen the show The Secret Life of the American Teenager...well Munchkin can sing the theme song and when I was watching it last week there were two teens in bed and it was assumed they'd had sex and he said to me I know they're naked under there and he got this giddy look on his face. 1. my fault for not thinking and letting him watch with me 2. why the hell would he have ANY clue what could've gone on in that scene and 3. how the hell does he know the theme song with this is the FIRST time I've watched that show with him in the room. 1. I will not watch this show when the kids are home or up and 2. because his mother used to call him Sexy Boy all the time and rub his body (sick if you ask me) and 3. because Witch admited they all watch the show together (11, 9 and 3) real smart. This is a great show for teens, meaning high schoolers but IMO it's not so great for her kids. She has no problem watching shows that are not age appropriate. So, Wizard had to again enforce the NO rule on that...why is it that she can't fucking parent, is it that hard? I mean I parent 24/7 and I'm never the good guy and I"m ok with it sometimes...not all the time but for now I'm not here to be their friend, not even TinMans I'm here to teach them to be good people and watch out for their best interests! Why did I bring this up...because Munchkin was getting dressed yesterday and asked him mom to take of her clothes and be sexy with him.....I can tell you that this did not come from my house and she tried to make it like it did...so when Witch asked Wizard he said 'maybe he got it from that show you let them watch'; her response 'there's not sex in that show' LMAO....liar! I know first hand and will be happy to point out episodes and scense where there's sex...idiot!

I must bitch

...what else is new, right?


Ok, my husband will be 40 this year and I'm planning a surprise party...mark your calendars for December 12, 2009. So, I email his parents, invite them even though I HATE his mother, she's a bipolar nutcase just like her daughter (details to follow); so I put myself out there even though this women didn't come to our wedding (she was mad at Wizard for telling his sister that their brother did nothing but talk shit about her)....she claims that's the reason she didn't come to our wedding...anyway, her answer about coming to Wizard's party....we'll see?! We'll see! I didn't share this with Wizard until I found out that she sent Scarecrow's birthday card (March 23 bday) to WITCH'S house?! WITCH'S...she didn't send it a few days early or even just send it to our house, HER son's home, NO, she sent it to the EX-wife that she hadn't talked to in FIVE FUCKING years until they got divorced!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See my irritation? UGH! Not only that but Wizard and his family didn't have a relationship until last fall when I encouraged it after his grandmother died.....I encouraged him to reach out to his family, I reminded him that family was important and that I would be nothing without my crazy, annoying, hillbilly family and I really thought he should be with his family and they should be a part of his life.....but instead his mom and sister and brother's wife (more details to follow) all have sided with Witch...why, I have no idea other than Witch and the rest of them seem to think that Wizard is some controlling, anal, freak who is mean, etc. Now I know that my husband can be a bit over the top and he's pissed me off more than once and I've said mean things in my blogs/journals BUT he's really a GREAT guy, otherwise I wouldn't be married to him and wouldn't have my son as a part of his life.

Ok and not only have the sided with Witch against their own son...well not 'them' cause Wizard's dad didn't want Wizard to marry Witch in the first place, thought she was bad for him; little did he know just how bad. I could go into all the details and reasons why they're divorced but I won't...I'm trying to let some of that negativity go....but this stuff I'm really struggling with....His sister, sister-in-law and mom are all friends on Facebook...not with me, oh no, I'm just the homewrecker whore...they're friends with poor little innocent Witch, who has no idea why Wizard ever left her...of course it can't be her fault...no, it has to be the homewrecker, whores fault, right?!

Even I'm big enough to admit that when I got divorced that it was a JOINT venture...he didn't do everything wrong and neither did I, period. Are there things that I could've blamed him for, HELL YES and vice versa but we didn't play that game...but Witch, Oh Witch, she plays the sympathy card all the way to the bank and I'm so over it, so over being the 'bad guy', Wizard being the 'bad guy', it just pisses me off even though I know in my heart we're not the 'bad guys'. UGH

I'm sure there were great parts of their marriage, there were great parts of my first marriage but it ended and it's been THREE years....it's time to let go and move the fuck on....she still has their champagne glasses (the silver ones that look like a heart when put together) displayed in her new house!!!!!!! How creepy is that?! Also painted her house the same color as ours...she had family pictures taken AFTER she found out we were having them taken and get this...the colors she chose for them to wear...brown and cream...the colors we chose for us to wear cream and red.....so weird, so creepy, but that's not even the best part....they haven't had a family picture taken EVER, EVER....so why the spontaneous want for a family picture after 13 years of no family pictures? Me, I'm her worst nightmare, I do crafty things, paint things on my own, I have my own style, didn't hire a decorator to pick the colors for my rooms and then let me choose the shade I like best, I don't go shopping for 8 hours on Saturdays, I don't bitch non-stop, I don't have to have a brand new car every 1.5 years....because I'm a much better woman, mother and wife than she'll ever be....even if I don't always feel that way or see it that way, deep down buried within the negativity of my pissed offness (sp)....well now that I've got all that out...I'm going to try and pretend to work.

Stressed Out...

...so I lost my cool last night...really lost my cool for no other reason than I just wanted to be left alone with NO responsibility at all. I ended up yelling and TinMan because he didn't feel he needed to study for Spanish and stomping my feet and going to bed like a pissed off teenager who was told NO by their parents. I'm not proud of this fact but I did get the voice of reason from Horse Whisperer who reminded me that I'm still learning and it's ok....below is a piece of her email that she sent me this morning after listening to my voicemail from this morning. I'm fine, I'm just rather stressed and feel that I really do suck at my 'job' as a parent/step-parent.

OK - I listened to it. Its fine to be on the meds. At least right now while you get everything pulled together later down the road when you are comfortable you can try to go off them again. Just think of it like a prop in yoga - you will use it for a while until you are comfortable enough with everything else in your life that you think you can handle it solo again. There is nothing bad about that. You are amazing!! You have so much that you are dealing with right now... superwoman couldn't handle what you do -so it’s no wonder you need help calming your nerves. I believe that when you have kids they develop in the timeframe that the parents need to develop with them. I know that if I had Filly right now it would be difficult because she would surely break my arms!! She is mobile and I wouldn't expect all that she gets into. When she came home - it was all I could take. She stayed where you put her and she was light. All I had to master was feeding her, changing her diaper loving her, and learning to wake up when she cries (the bare basic necessities). As she developed it took more I had to master all of that as well as helping her develop motor skills, talking, feeding herself, watching that she doesn't hurt herself, etc. They take more and more skills and energy from the parents each day as they develop. Then when you have a second kid - you have to manage a sports/activity schedule with your oldest and just feeding and changing the baby again - just the bare basics.... then more and more as the days go on. It’s kind of like lifting weights. You start with 5lbs... not 100lbs. It’s not that you can't do 100lbs eventually.... but you have to work up to it. You were dropped into the Arnold Classic and expected to lift 150lbs without the training. Dorothy - you have 4 kids... you went from you and TinMan to 4 kids and a husband (which I can argue takes as much attention as a small child). There is nothing wrong with needing some motrin to ease the muscle ache at night. Everyone else in your class has been training for 12 years and started with the 5lb weight - and you were dropped in mid competition lifting 150lbs. Once you get the 150lbs down (it will be 170lbs by that time because Munchkin will be in sports) you will be accustomed to it and you will be able to sleep without a muscle reliever. Does that make sense?

Step-Mother's(parent) Bill of Rights

I found this on my new guilty pleasure Wicked Stepmom's blog...I'll comment below.

1. I will be part of the decision-making process in my marriage and family at all times. **totally agree with 100%, it's my family and my life too.
2. People outside the immediate family - including ex-wives, in-laws and adult children - cannot make plans that affect my life without my consent. **sure they can doesn't mean I'll be there.
3. I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits. 100% agree...I can't discipline then I ain't responsible
4. I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit and how long they will stay. this is bogus and rude; maybe a discussion around it but c'mon if you're marrying a man with children he's just that WITH CHILDREN...dumbass
5. I will not be solely responsible for housework; chores will be distributed fairly. This is LAW in my house for everyone, not just the step kids
6. I will be consulted regarding all family financial matters. True dat!
7. Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission.
8. I will never be treated as an "outsider" in my own home.
9. My husband and stepchildren must treat me with respect.
10. Our marriage is our first priority, and we will address all issues together.

Seriously the last four....unless you're a complete pile of mush and have no self respect these are a given of ANY person in your life...or maybe that's just me. I'm often accused of being a hard ass but whatever!

:) to :(

Why is it that when women have a bad day men are all 'weird'....they make a HUGE deal out of it, like we don't know how to handle things....seriously?! I know how to handle stress but today is a day when I'm just in general frustrated and my stupid ass husband says 'well at least I know what to expect'....how about you go fuck yourself.

Last evening was one of the BEST evenings I've had in a REALLY long time! Wizard took Lion to a friends to hit (she plays softball and this is what you'll hear about for the next 4-5 months) so they were gone for a couple of hours, Munchkin, Scarecrow and I took a walk around the block and then got their bikes out and rode 1/4 way around the block before turning around because Munchkin was tired LOL after that we got out the lacrosse sticks and they played a bit with the neighbor kids D and T; then we played croquet (sp) and then went and picked up TinMan from practice...good times. When TinMan got home he ate as did the other two and then took his shower so he didn't stink like a boy anymore, LOL Munchkin took a bath and then TinMan did his HW WITHOUT argument....read again WITHOUT argument!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay! My night was complete.

Now, no night is complete with out bickering with the husband or bitching about Lion...whom I spent all of maybe an hour with all evening. So we're all in our room looking over the papers I just received from a friend about a big game, we've picked out different things to frame for each child's room as well as Wizard's office. Lion asks if she can have one...now to frame this stuff isn't cheap because its custom mat so I asked her if she was getting it because everyone else was or because she really wanted it to show her pride and she asked if it would match her room and I answered her no and she made a smartass comment about "well it doesn't matter anyway because it's been 8 months and my room isn't painted yet." It takes a certain amount of balls to say something like that to me and Scarecrow's eyes popped out of her head, I look at Lion and said you know...thanks for appreciating me, it's comments like that that make me not want to paint your room...she walked out of the room. I packed up the rest of the papers and took Munchkin to bed since it was 9pm. As Wizard and I are putting Munchkin to bed he asks what's wrong, I say nothing but he pushes and I start to tell him and mid sentence he cuts me off and says I don't want to hear it...so I shut up. For the next hour we debated...not argued but debated about Lion being disrespectful to me, I'm done. Basically I'm in no mood to do the room, 1. we save for everything we do and 2. I'd rather do Scarecrow's room where it will be appreciated. Lion does nothing but the find the negative in EVERY situation and I'm so over that bullshit it's not even funny. This morning she came into our bathroom while we were getting ready and I was like dude it's 8:10 you need to get moving, she says there's not bowls, I was like then get one out of the dishwasher, it says clean on it....her response 'well the weren't clean last night'. Wizard says I'm overreacting and maybe I am but I'm not going to take the smartass stuff....I'll just distance myself from her and she can be BFFs with her mother...period. She can live in the lemon yellow room with flowers until SHE'S ready to paint it.......

That's all...I thought this was going to be a positive post....guess not.

SUV

WOO HOO....I'm finally driving my Yukon XL and I LOVE IT!

I will post pictures when I get a chance to take pictures with my real camera and not my phone. I'm super excited!!!!!!! Not only do we have a car that fits all six of us, but it has DVD AND VHS and it's got lots of cargo space, leather seats, and all the other fun stuff. One thing I will miss about the Alero...the sunroom but I'm ok :)

Wizard told me last night after we got home from the dealer....honey, you look different in that SUV, you look like a mom, LMAO I about died laughing. I love him, he's such a nerd! I think he's more excited than I am; he told me this AM that he was just happy that we finally have something for ME, that I LOVE!

The best part...we paid cash....cash! It's used so we didn't pay like 30k cash we paid under 10k...so I'm really proud of that fact!!! We've been busting our asses for over a year now and have paid off all our personal debt and now only have the business debt to pay off and we'll be debt free minus our home by...get this...drum roll please......................this time NEXT year...2010...how effing GREAT is that?! Then we'll save six months of our expenses and then retirement...nice!

I'd just like to know at what point did I become a grown up?!

Interesting

I'm searching parenting and lying teens online and found this from a parent...sound like anyone I know?

"How about a child who is from a very loving home where the parents are both there for the 17 yr old girl who lies just to lie. Told someone her dad has hit her and she is afraid of him- not true. Told someone that her parents kicked her out of the house- I can’t remember the last time she was restricted,she has not gotten into any trouble. Told her boyfriend, now ex, that she had tried to take her life and had to spend the night at a mental health facility. Also told him during their relationship that she neve ate. SHe has admitted to liking to lie"

Lion admitted that she could lie to anyone, anytime and never get caught....and that she does it and is proud of it....hope this isn't Wizard, and I in about 6 years.

Happy Stuff!

So I rambled and bitched and totally forgot to post the good stuff...

1. Child support was reduced about $200 woo hoo!!! Could go lower but we're happy with this.
2. I got my SUV...yay!!!

So that's the good stuff...unless you count the laundry's done and the cleaning lady comes tomorrow, LOL

OH a few additions :)

Interesting morning conversation with Wizard today....Witch punished Lion...which in my world is VERY unheard of...but I guess Lion is pushing her luck at mommy's too; apparently Witch told her no more computer in the morning and Lion felt the need to not listen, so she was sent to her room and had the phone and computer taken away for the day and I guess Lion's smartass remark to Witch went something like this 'Munchkin never gets in trouble, all you do is yell at me'....LMAO WHATEVER, that little girl has NO clue! She tends to kiss ass when she gets in trouble, with lots of I love you's and I'm sorry's so we shall see how this one ends. She'll be with Wizard all weekend for a sports thing...they often clash without a buffer between them....

Oh and here's an interesting article about teens and grades

http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.com/blog/2008/10/31/worried-about-your-teens-poor-grades/

What's my issue?

Well...there are so many at this point that I've lost count but what sort of set me 'off' last night was Wizard and Tin Man...I'm much calmer now and really just go whatever about the whole thing but I really need to 'blog it out' as the Tuesday's and I have decided to name it.

Tin Man has decided to 'give up' again, not sure why but he has...I personally think it has to do with a small dose of a reality check...this will require background so bear with me while I write a dissertation of the past....Tin Man grew up with his maternal grandparents and my brother; he lived there for 13 years and came to me every other weekend and I went to him often, like soccer and baseball games and school plays etc. My brother is significantly younger than I am; we'll say he's closer to Tin Man's age than mine so they basically grew up together and when they separated two years ago Tin Man stayed there mentally instead of allowing himself to move forward (not on) and add additional friends to his life. My brother moved forward, he's joined the band in HS, has a girlfriend and a few good friends but the point is he moved forward and I think Tin Man is having a VERY hard time with that. Typically he goes to Granny's and LOVES it, has a blast, can't stop talking about it and just in general is overly excited about the fact that he's going there; well last week he went for my bro's bday; Munchkin and I took him there (it's about an hour from where we live in Oz) and my bro's g/f was there...strike one and my bro's best friend and his g/f were there, strike two and there was only one other guy there aside from Tyler that was single and that was his 14 year old cousin...TinMan wasn't happy, I could tell but I wasn't going to dwell so Munchkin Auntie and I went and played outside and had a blast, when it was time to leave, my bro, his g/f, his best friend and g/f were outside on the trampoline and TinMan was inside watching a movie....VERY odd, I asked what was wrong he said nothing just a little tired...which would be understandable since he played a game earlier but there was something off; I didn't know what was off until he came home the following day.

After TinMan came home we had to go to counseling and while he was in his session I overhead the doc ask him if he had fun at his grandmas and TinMan answered 'it was ok'. I have NEVER ever heard him answer like that before, ever! When he came home he seemed somewhat relieved, it was so freaking odd! So, I think over the last several weeks (because this is the second time in 2-3 weeks that he's gone there) he's realized that my bro has moved forward whereas he's stayed put....and I've been through this feeling and it hurts, especially if you're secretly counting on that person (the one that moved on) to be your 'rock'; which I think TinMan was doing.

The problem? Well, we have him get his student planner signed by all his teachers except one and in the past month he has been forging his Spanish teachers initials, which is odd because we haven't been giving him a hard time, in fact we've been on top of tests, etc but not been punishing or anything like that....we were told that wouldn't help and it was clear that what we were doing before was NOT helping him but pissing him off; so we changed things up. So, he's forging his Spanish teachers initials AND he LIED to his Spanish teacher about his speech, he had a speech due Monday, which I made certain he completed and practiced (not in front of me because he refused) before he left for my moms last weekend, so I knew it was done, I saw it; on Tuesday she emailed me and told me that TinMan refused to give his speech in class on Tuesday when his name was called, he claimed he didn't ahve it (LIE) and when she said 'thats ok you should know it from practicing' he lied again and said he never did it. So now I have THREE lies, spanish teacher initials, and two lies to the spanish teacher herself....how do I deal with this? No freaking clue! I thought we were making GREAT progress but I guess I was wrong OR he's just being a teen...but how do I know he's just being a teen?

So all that lead up to last night...oh and SUV shopping...which is over because I have my SUV, picking it up tonight YAY! I have other good news but let me finish purging....so Monday TinMan came home from practice, said all his work was done and Cougar wanted us to come to her new house, so we did, I bought him Quizno's for dinner and we hung out there for about an hour...he seemed to have a good time with Mr. Cougar but who knows. Tuesday the Tuesday's (LMAO) had a celebration happy hour for our Puma who is newly engaged and then we went over to Cougar's house again to check it out...plus it's on my way home, LOL I ended up staying until about 10pm so I didn't see TinMan Tuesday, Wizard said he (TinMan) was needy so I'm thinking the attitude I got last night was because of my abscence on Tuesday....I know what he's thinking because he has voiced; basically when the Wizard's kids are there, I have to be home most of the time especially since sports are kicking back up, dinners have to be planned for Glenda to cook but when they're not there, I'm a slacker, I try so hard not to be but it's really hard so I think that's where problem #2 he feels like I don't give a crap...and I do....ok back to my thought. TinMan got out of practice at 6pm yesterday instead of 8pm, I didn't know this but Wizard did and Wizard told TinMan he would pick him and his friend up...didn't happen since Wizard took Scarecrow up North...and for whatever reason TinMan didn't call me, they called his friends parents to pick them up...I was shopping at Old Navy...I thought I had LOTS of time, I got home at 6:30p with plans to cook a yummy healthy dinner for all and TinMan was there...and not happy. I asked why he didn't call me, he said he didn't knwo but that Wizard said he would pick them up and when he didn't show they called his friends parents...now I look like a slacker parent (great)....so I ask if he wanted pork chops for dinner...yum, no; grilled cheese and soup, no; pizza, no; spaghetti, no; bbq chicken, no; I was like ok then...I'm not cooking if you're not going to tell me what you want. So he makes himself a sandwich, a mini pizza and eats pretzels with it, fine. I try to make conversation...see how his day and yesterday was, I get one word answers, I try to pry a little more, still one word answers then I ask if he's excited aobut going to his granny's this weekend....eh, I guess, there's nothing better to do. Now that is a new response to that question, usually he's over the moon about it...now he'll be pissed because he has to stay home with me and do homework, etc. Oh well.

That's part 1...part 2 comes from Wizard calling me and I was in the middle of my brooding about my child's lack of interest in ANYTHING and he starts asking me questions, I apprently didn't answer them in the tone he had hoped for so he starts 'whats wrong with you, why are you moody, I swear all you do is bitch' and blah, blah blah...so I hung up, LOL After that I was just done with the day; TinMan went to bed at like 8;30p because he said he had nothing better to do...and Wizard came home and I left to get cat food.....I just couldn't deal with anything else.

Wizard started telling me how I needed to discuss with TinMan about lying again and I really wanted to snap since Lion constantly lies and nothing is ever done but I didn't, I just kept chanting in my head I lvoe you...I really did this. After that things were 'ok'; I'm still wondering what to do to help TinMan and wondering where I 'failed' if that makes any sense...logically I know I didn't fail at anything, emotionally I think I've messed my kid up for life and really would like a do-over...can you have do-over's with your life?!

another day...

...I hate my life..that is all.

boys are stupid...

...I tell Wizard that Cougar got flowers from her husband to celebrate their new house and he tells me if we have sex two nights in a row I can get flowers too....

The funny thing is he did NOT used to be like this; in fact I was once the girl who got random flowers, small gifts and cards for NO reason at all....funny how things changed when we got serious. True colors, that's all I've got to say.

Random

I'm at Tin Mans counseling appt and reading step motherhood good book! But anyway, drop off is over and done and oddly I don't feel the relief I typically feel..I think that's probably good.

Lion and I had one final disagreement before she left...her room ugh! This girl is sloppy she shoves clothes in drawers and throws clothes on her floor ugh! If you know me this drives me nuts!!! So I asked her to clean her room before going toger moms and she tells me its clean ugh! Why do they always argue?! She did go do it with minimal arguing after I told her I was going to stop folding her clothes and just put them in her room since she didn't care. My way of saying I'm not taking my valuable time folding YOUR laundry if its going to get thrown on the floor!

Oh she did really bug me today..we told her that we would repaint her room this winter/spring and got her a new duvet and pillow shams for her bday 200 so we didn't paint her room at that time so today she asks me AGAIN if we're ever going to redo her room. I didn't really lik that it hurt my feelings and frustrated me! I told her yes but it would take time. Because neither of her parents have taught her that sometimes you have to wait for things you want she just keeps asking until she gets her way. VERY frustrating!!

I'm going to post some of my old posts from another blog it will give some background.