Fun with the SIL

Backstabbing, faced, bitch SIL....did I mention money hungry; called Wizard's mom nuts and a few other things but is up her ass!

Here's the thing, Wizard and SIL were once VERY close, Witch and SIL were close at one point too over the years off and on but after the divorce SIL really sided with Wizard and she told me so many crazy stories about Witch mostly to do with the kids but then one day (I blogged it) she just all of the sudden switched. SIL and Witch had a SUPER ugly falling out to the poin that Witch told Wizard SIL was a back stabber...little did we know she wasn't lying and it was after I had leaned on her and confided in her...this email chain is a result of all the hurt and anger I felt about 1. Wizard's family siding with Witch and 2. being stabbed in the back when I trusted her.

This is also the same woman who wouldn't let her husband Wizard's brother congratulate him after we were married and neither of them came to our reception, their children came with their Grandfather.


From: SIL
Sent: Friday, October 05, 2007 4:17 PM
To: Dorothy; Wizard
Subject: RE: present

By the way...S's name is spelled SY. I know how to spell all of your kids' names.


-----Original Message-----
From: Dorothy
Sent: Friday, October 05, 2007 4:14 PM
To:SIL
Cc:Wizard
Subject: RE: present

You're welcome

From: SIL
Sent: Friday, October 05, 2007 4:12 PM
To: Dorothy; Wizard
Subject: RE: present

Dorothy and Wizard: I am at work...working...I'm sorry but I don't have time to convince either of you that to S it's not about what adults are coming but it IS about what kids are coming. I'm sorry that you think my daughter's birthday party has adults being invited...they weren't. There will be 26 kids there and I can guarantee you that IF any adults are there S won't even notice. I'm done talking about it...if you'd like to discuss it further feel free to call me while I'm not at work.
Thanks!

-----Original Message-----
From: Dorothy
Sent: Friday, October 05, 2007 4:04 PM
To: SIL
Subject: RE: present

You're right it is about a 7 year old birthday party, Wiards's niece, as well. Its not about the children and how they get there it's about S's uncle not being invited to the party at all.

From: SIL
Sent: Friday, October 05, 2007 4:02 PM
To: Dorothy
Subject: RE: present

Dorothy: While you or Wizard might think this is another slap in the face and that it's all about you guys...it's not...it's about a 7 year old having a birthday party that desperately wanted her cousins, Lion, Scarecrow, and Munchkin, to be there. S, myself, brother or anyone doesn't care how they get there she just wants them to be there. With that said, please pass on this information to Wizard (as I'm sure you will). ***Funny thing here is the Oz children haven't been invited to a SIL children's party in about two years and now it's suddenly a must***

Thanks.

-----Original Message-----
From: dorothy
Sent: Friday, October 05, 2007 3:53 PM
To: SIL
Subject: RE: present

He didn't ask me to tell you and its not totally about the kids; why weren't we invited? Its just another slap in the face, that's all.

From: SIL
Sent: Friday, October 05, 2007 3:49 PM
To: Dorothy
Subject: present

Well I'm sorry that Wizard feels the need to have you tell me that...besides I really didn't know whose week it was when I gave the invite to Witch at the soccer game two Saturdays ago.

-----Original Message-----
From: dorothy
Sent: Friday, October 05, 2007 3:18 PM
To: SIL
Subject: RE: present

Just want to make it convenient for everyone and this seems easiest. Also wanted to let you know that you hurt Wizard's feelings by not inviting him and the kids since it's his week.

From: SIL
Sent: Friday, October 05, 2007 3:16 PM
To: Dorothy
Subject: RE: present

That's fine...it's no big deal either way!

-----Original Message-----
From: Dorothy
Sent: Friday, October 05, 2007 3:03 PM
To: SIL
Subject: present

Hey, Since Witch will be bringing the kids with her on Sunday, I'll send our gift with them, sound good?

Trick or Treat Part 2

Read bottom up Whatever...don't be there for your kids....and since I'm posting this in 2009 she wasn't there in 2008 either even though it was technically her year to ahve them...she's even years we're odd years...

BTW, once you read this you're going to think I'm a saint and wonder what the hell her issue is...I truly don't get it, I would be there with my kids period, especially if I were given an open invite. But that's me...it would've been weird but I wouldn't have actually gone out with them I would've stayed behind and handed out candy or something but....I digress

Oh and this birthday bullshit...she hasn't had Munchkin on his birthday NOR has she asked to have him/them on his birthday in THREE years and in 2007 for Lion's birthday we had to call HER so that she could wish Lion a Happy Birthday, nice. In 2007 for Munchkin's birthday we elected to have a VERY small cookout...like 10 people and didn't invite her because she was having her own party with HER friends/family that she did invite us too and about a week before it was to happen we cancelled, I wasn't subjecting myself to HER world just like I wouldn't expect her to subject herself to my world and my friends...it didn't go over well as it was one of the first; firsts in the next 12 months that made her realize that she was in fact divorced and their lives were being slowly separated and of course it was/is MY fault.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
FromDorothy
Date: Oct 1, 2007 3:03 PM
Subject: Re: Halloween
To:Witch; Wizard

Thank you, now we are all on the same page and like you said, its good to remain consistent.

On 10/1/07, Wtich wrote:
I know Lion has also been asking me daily to trick or treat with them as we typically go as far and as long as we can until we are the last ones out there...so I know Scarecrow wants me and asks often, but Lion does to which made it even more difficult to decide. When the Munchkin birthday change happened they as you can imagine didn't understand what was going on. Why I wasn't at the party, why I wasn't having a party when they were told I was and that's why I wasn't there, why it was fair for him to have two parties when they didn't and they immediately went to you aren't because it's not fair to us. Scarecrow kept saying how if she couldn't spend her birthday with me she would cry all day and Munchkin was probably sad. I explained once you guys decided to have your own party and not have a joint party as we had talked about that it became you guys having a party as that was where Munchkin was on his special day and I explained to them that although we will always be a family because i am their mom and Wizard is their dad that things are going to be different and they now have two separate families and there will be years when I won't see them or Wizard won't see them on their birthdays or certain holidays. It didn't mean that I didn't or Wizard didn't want to be with them on those days as neither of us would want to miss a moment on their special days, but that things are different now and that go forward our families will be separate for most things. That we all love them and want them to be happy, but it is just the way things fall with the calendars etc. Will they have two parties...I told them for me on my end no. Just like with Munchkin I cancelled the party that was planned and just had my parents and Aunt SIL was stopping to drop off Munchkin's gift as they were on vacation for the party at their Dads, there would be no singing, no cake...just Nana and Papa visiting and at some point Aunt SIL would stop over. I don't know if that makes sense, but basically I just told them that go forward it wasn't going to be possible to be together for their birthdays etc., but that the 3 of them always would be. So, I just think that on Wizard's holiday year it would send a mixed message as Ry's birthday approaches and things like that....

From: Dorothy
Sent: Monday, October 01, 2007 2:08 PM
To: Witch
Subject: Re: Halloween

Understood, I just wanted to make Scarecrow happy, as she has said many times that she wants all of us to trick or treat that night but I understand your want to be consistent. May I ask what reason you gave them so that if the situation should arise again we have the same answer on both parts?

On 10/1/07, Witch wrote:
Thanks I will look forward to seeing them. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I just don't want to send them a different message after the conversation that was needed when they realized I wasn't invited to Munchkin's birthday ...so I believe I should stay consistent with the reasoning I gave them as to why I wasn't invited...so by attending I think it will just confuse them in the long run when it comes to only being with me or you guys in the future on birthdays etc. Thanks again, I can't wait to see the pics!

From: Dorothy
Sent: Monday, October 01, 2007 1:56 PM
To: Witch
Subject: Re: Halloween

Hey Witch, I appreciate the response and understand. I know the children will miss having you there and of course we'll take pictures.

Dorothy

On 10/1/07, Witch wrote:

Dorothy,
Thank you for inviting me to spend Halloween with my children. After giving it a great deal of thought I think I am going to pass and not attend Halloween night at the house. I will explain to the children why I feel it isn't the right thing to do and would appreciate you and Wizard allowing me to talk to them. Thanks. Witch

Trick or Treat part 1

From: Witch
To: Dorothy
Date Thu, Sep 27, 2007 at 12:22 PM
subject RE: Trick or Treat

Dorothy, Thank you for the invitation to Trick or Treat with the kiddos. I am not able to say just now if I will be there or not. I don't know what planning you need to do and I hope it doesn't inconvenience you if I give it some more thought and let you know in the next two weeks. If that's a problem just let me know.

Thanks, Witch


From: Dorothy
Sent: Wednesday, September 26, 2007 1:22 PM
To: Witch
Subject: Trick or Treat

Hey Witch,

I wanted to invite you to trick or treat with all of us on October 31 (6pm-8pm); I know the kids, especially Scarecrow would really like to have you there. Let us know so that we can plan accordingly and if not, I'm sorry that you'll miss it but we'll take lots of pictures to share. Thanks!

dorothy

I really, really wanted to send this to Witch yesterday but I 'journaled' it out and let it go, which I'm super proud of, the drama of the day was that Wizard told her that he and I wouldn't be going to the birthday party she's having for Munchkin on 8/4 (his bday is 7/29, our week) and she threw a fit saying that it was my fault and he again was putting me before the kids and
that I needed to 'let it go'. There's other background needed to 'get' the email but I don't feel like typing it all out, LOL

I have to stick up for myself and the family that Wizard and I are trying to build. You're upset that Wizard isn't going to be at your party for Munchkin and while I understand wanting a father to be with his son on his birthday, I do not understand why you're so angry that he (Wizard) won't be there for the party you're having with YOUR friends and family and why you aren't thankful that he is spending part or all of Munchkin's actual birthday with him. I personally wouldn't be going even if Wizard were going and no, I'm not going to 'get over it'. I don't and won't put myself in a position that makes me uncomfortable for the sake of painting the picture perfect family....I could careless what people think. You constantly blame me for Wizards's decisions, I do not make his decisions for him, he makes them of his own free will as I'm sure you
know.

You don't like me, I get that but let it go as you said you have, I've tried 'playing nice', instead of 'being over it' you say things like 'you're putting her in front of your kids' (which you're WRONG about and if you'd look outside yourself for a minute you might see that) or 'you won't be
going to that game now, will you' (another selfish statement, and truthfully you're not hurting us, we just won't go, not a big deal) and my favorite 'girls your dad said you can't go to Cedar Point'; even though its you're doing, the best part is you don't care that you're painting an 'ugly'
picture of their father, you just care that you're pushing his buttons, and putting your anger in front of your kids....you want to be mean and selfish so why should we be nice and let you take them on OUR DAY....the ONLY reason we/he would let you take them to Cedar Point is because the KIDS HAPPINESS COMES FIRST...but you already knew that and are counting on that....aren't you...

Lets be real here, we're adults so lets behave like adults and COMPROMISE. If we can't compromise and co-exist positively then how can we expect our children to co-exist with people they don't like or learn to respect each other/others and compromise? Our actions are teaching them how to behave, our actions are molding who they will become. I for one want TinMan to be a better person than I am....I want more for him than I do myself, I'm sure you can relate....think about that when you're angry and you're spouting things off in front of the kids about their father, the man they love and admire, the man that is their protector and provider; you're mad at him take it out him but don't use the children to do it because that IS putting yourself before your children; Wizard doesn't do that to you or about you, he and I both know its in their best interest to see you in the best light, you're their mother, their security blanket, the one they need and trust.

You consistently believe that we (Wizard and I) are out to 'get' you or not include you in the parenting of your children and that is not true, I think you and Wizard are the most important people in your children's lives and when you TWO can get over your differences and stop trying to have the 'upper hand' with each other you'll be better parents. BOTH of you. The childcare
issue is one of the more recent issues I can think of, I'm not trying to decide anything for your kids, I will assist in the decision as my child will be present and I care about your children but the final say will come from you and Wizard since your kids will need more supervision than mine; if you want a specific type of babysitter/nanny then make a list of the type of person and qualifications you want and share it with us but don't accuse us of trying to do something without you, its getting old.

I will again say that if you have something to say about me, my life or my son to TALK TO ME not Wizard, you know he's going to tell me anyway. I'm tired of the she said BS, another thing that's getting old. You believe that I was talking about you this weekend at the game....when in reality I was pointing out Munchkin cheering....I'm tired of the anger....its OVER let it go,
move on, be happy.... that's all we're trying to do....and in fact despite all the BS that goes on we are happy, nothing you can do or say is going to change that.....

Weekend

This weekend was super busy jam packed full of fun, laughter and love!!! Last week was a pretty stressful week for me. All analyzing, adjusting, thinking and freaking out I did paid off in some way...journaling it out definitely helped and I talked to Wizard over the weekend about how I've been feeling and as usual he 'surprised' me by being very receptive :) I guess thats what good relationships are made of....communication and lots of it! He was very understanding regarding all the change and the feelings I've been having about it, we talked about me looking at his blackberry and while it didn't go over well he didn't freak out, he just said he had nothing to hide and I'm welcome to look anytime BUT he was hurt that I felt the need to look and that moving forward with a date, etc was something that we needed to think about because obviously I don't trust him....valid, very valid. I do trust him like I said before but geesh, I just didn't like the chatting going on that's all.

However, I read over my post from the other day about feeling alienated (sp) from SIL and Witch and I don't feel that way about Witch so much as I do SIL and I'm not sure why.....I felt that way on Thursday but I don't feel that way now, go figure! I did talk to him about the email to SIL and he said that he wanted to know about the gift and he also wanted to check on her and see how she was because she had seemed very down the last couple of times they talked.

Part of me says whatever and the other part of me says what is there to really care about?! Nothing, if I look at it rationally I don't care so I'm letting that go and if I do feel alienated again it will be brought up. Friday was a lot of fun, Wizard took a 1/2 day off to take Scarecrow to the movies, Lion went to the movies with a friend and Munchkin stayed home with the nanny...I
worked, LOL When I got home everything was done and we had a nice relaxing evening.

I met the friends at Bravo! and had dinner and then we went to see the band at Flanagan's and we had a total blast!!! It was some much needed girl time for me. I got home later than I watned but I wasn't stressed about it like I have been in the past so I was happy about that :) The kids
just hung out with Wizard and got ready for their games on Saturday. Saturday started at 7am....after going to bed about 2:30am...nice! Wizard and I got up and started getting ready.. Scarecrow had practice at 8-9 and Lion had a 9:45am game so she and Wizard were gone at 8am, I took Scarecrow to practice came home got Munchkin ready, had breakfast with him and then got ready myself. I picked Scarecrow up from practice brought her home to change and then we headed to the field to watch Lion's game. It was a good game they lost but the game was good,
it's interesting to sit on the sidelines and watch a team totally defeat themselves because that's what they did. After the first game Munchkin and I headed back home to go to a neighbor's daughter's birthday party which was a lot of fun for both of us. Everything was so cute and girly, the food was good and the people were really nice, so we had fun. After the party I laid Munchkin down for a nap and he slept for 2.5 hours....the amazing part is that the Kidz n Kamp fundraiser was going on in our backyard (our house backs up to the common area) and there was band playing and people being loud the WHOLE time and he slept right through it!

Wizard and the girls along with a few softball friends got home about 8 (after their 6:30pm game) and we hung out, chatted with neighbors, the kids ran around and had fun, we had friends come
over and hang out...it was just a lot of fun!!! They ended up raising $19,541 for KNK so that was AWESOME!!! We got to bed about midnight...wooo hoo

Sunday started much later than Saturday...we got to sleep in until 9am, LOL I remember when 9am was early for me....whew! Lion only had one game on Sunday so we were gone at noon and got home about 3:30pm and the rest of the afternoon we spent playing with the girls while Munchkin napped...it was a blast, we laughed, and joked it was just good family fun. at about 5:30pm we had the girls pack their stuff for their moms and Wizard took them home...that part
totally sucks! But, next week is vacation so we'll have a blast in Niagara and Montreal!!!

TinMan got home from Hilton Head late Saturday night so he'll be home Wed....for GOOD...I'm so happy!!!

This week we will be finishing TinMan's room, only have to paint the trim, touch up the helmet stripe and put the OSU logos on the walls, two walls are scarlet and two walls are gray it looks amazing!!! The carpet gets installed on Thursday and we'll be done :) For TinMan we have football camp in the evenings next week with lifting in MWF and that's about it....thank
goodness

VBS

This was when Witch thought she would flex her 'muscle' didn't last long...but wait for it! What is HILARIOUS about her and this church full of hypocrites, etc She likes to come and play mommy of the year every once in a while when Lion sings....

-----Original Message-----
From: Witch
Sent: Monday, June 11, 2007 11:21 AM
To: Wizard
Subject: RE: I have

One, I am not willing to give up my time with them when we are so busy. I just feel like I don't have much quality time with them...two I have some stuff planned that I would like to do for them and three I don't think that on my week I am willing to sacrifice anything for a church that is ridden with hypocrites, gossips and people that just generally have nothing but mean, ugly and nasty things come out of their mouths...sorry...although I choose not to go there because of it anymore I cannot in good conscience send my kids there on my weeks in support of that behavior.

From: Wizard
Sent: Monday, June 11, 2007 11:18 AM
To: Witch
Subject: RE: I have

Um why

-----Original Message-----
From: Witch
Sent: Monday, June 11, 2007 11:15 AM
To: Wizard
Subject: I have

…thought about it and I don't think the kids will be participating in VBS this year.

Pay?

Read bottom up....in 2006-2007 well most of 2007 she didn't pay her required 31% of a damn thing...I told Wizard, how she came up with the money wasn't his problem, she didn't give a crap if he had the money or not for things...

-----Original Message-----
From: Witch
Sent: Monday, June 11, 2007 3:03 PM
To: Wizard
Subject: RE: Do you have any money to help pay

Right now...probably not...but I can not pay something and make it work...I think my portion would be 136.50....I will find it....I will leave you cash for it so if you right a check I will just give you that okay?

From: Wizard
Sent: Monday, June 11, 2007 3:00 PM
To:Witch
Subject: Do you have any money to help pay...
...for Lions Soccer fee?